Taming the World in the Three Kingdoms

One day, Yuan Shao had a dream, and then the whole world changed.

Dong Zhuo: “I’m so scared. What if I don’t know how to do bad things?”

Yuan Shao: “It’s simple. You have to do bad things, understand? If you don’t know how, can’t you learn? I’ll show you once!”

Cao Cao: “I’m an honorable gentleman. I would never do anything unjust!”

Yuan Shao: “Old Cao, this is Lady Zou. You two chat for a while. I’ll go for a walk...”

Guan Yu: “I have a blood phobia. I really can’t kill anyone! Don’t mess with me, Brother Yuan!”

Yuan Shao: “Then close your eyes and strike! Wait until they aren’t paying attention, and make it quick, accurate, and ruthless!”

Liu Bei: “I would sooner wrong the people of the world than let the people of the world...”

Yuan Shao: “Ahem, ahem! Xuande, you’ve got the wrong script! I told you, you’re a good person!”

Alas, the whole world is in chaos. Being the heaven-appointed wage slave is just too hard.

Can’t you Three Kingdoms heroes make things a little easier for me? Xiao Qiao, let go of Zhou Yu and let me take over!