From Magnetic-Field Dog Donkey to a Dream of the Stars

Give five stars to newcomers' practice work first, and then move on to the comments section: 1. As a fan practice, it is indeed a good direction to fit the characters of the original work, but the description of the personality, behavior, etc. Of the original characters cannot be accomplished by narration introduction and explanation of the motivations of the original work's actions. Just like the description of the characters in this article except for the protagonist is actually very thin, each character seems to be simply labeled with the original work. If the names of the original characters were not attached, it would be difficult to restore the situation in the article. Take the scene in this article where the first man brings Guanyue Tong and Lan Meng (the protagonist) as an example. As a scene that does not appear in the original work, you only give a few lines of dialogue here and rush to the next scene (two people practicing martial arts). At the same time, there are too many subjective inner plans of the protagonist and other things. The miscellaneous introduction made this "meeting between family members" look particularly pale, making Shougan and Guanyuetong look like two human machines, or simply puppets on strings for the sake of the plot. You could just replace their two names with Dianyan and Tiandao, or Mad Cow and Boss. In fact, there is no sense of dissonance. This could have been further described to add highlights to the plot, adding small details such as the expressions and movements between the three people. For example, the protagonist was slightly nervous when he faced his "relatives" in this world for the first time, but the first man never felt it because of his love for Xiaotong in the original work. Most of his thoughts were on her. , And the smart Xiaotong noticed this, but although she didn't understand why her second brother was nervous, she was also happy that her second brother, who usually didn't like her very much, showed her kindness, and further joked with the protagonist, so the atmosphere between the two of them was relaxed, which further strengthened the protagonist's desire to save his sister's life. Such a description not only greatly increases the number of words, but also does not appear watery. Instead, it makes the reader feel that you really understand the original work, and also makes you have a better impression of the characters in the article. Therefore, the summary of the first point is, don't be stingy with characters other than the protagonist, and let the characters drive the development of the scene, rather than letting them execute the script rigidly like puppets. In the words of Endless God of War, let the character push your pen, rather than the pen pushing your character. Your pen is used to guide, not to dominate. You should guide the characters to the plot you want, rather than order them what to do. 2. It committed a taboo that many fans make, one is the perspective lock, and the other, more serious, is that on top of the perspective lock, it also locks the progress of the original work. What does it mean? The perspective is locked on someone during the writing process. You must know that even pretentious stories such as The Dragon King's Son-in-law will give the villains and supporting characters action scenes to promote the development of the story, or leave suspense (see what conspiracy they plotted), or present problems (see the protagonist solve it), or introduce the enemy configuration, or compare with the protagonist's itinerary. In fan works, the perspective cannot be compared with the protagonist's itinerary. It is locked to the protagonist, let alone the description of what happens next after locking the perspective, because the fan protagonist is born with the halo of the protagonist in the reader's perspective, and is here to solve the problems in the original work or reverse some misfortunes. Therefore, there is less suspense than other themes. Once the perspective is locked, it will become a running account of what the protagonist thinks of, what the protagonist does, what the protagonist achieves, and what the protagonist is invincible in the world. Why does writing like this turn into a running account? It's simple because there is a lack of feedback. You may ask why there is a lack of feedback. I have obviously written about the results achieved by the protagonist after doing these things, and I have changed the plot of the original work. And what I want to say is, bro, feedback is not just a sentence about what the protagonist gets or what changes are made in the original work, but a big change in all aspects. You must know that all changes ultimately affect people. You have to write the characters' feedback on the protagonist's achievements and their own changes after experiencing such changes. This is called feedback. This article is often written about what Lan Meng thinks, how Lan Meng is doing, and what Lan Meng does, but there are very few specific descriptions of the actual implementation. It looks like Lan Meng has been thinking about something, and then he got everything done after thinking about it. How to get it done is inexplicable, but it is good. The plot is driven by the original scenes →_→, and his own things are all in "thinking"... Therefore, the summary of the second point is to change the perspective. Anyway, this is a practice, so it is better to practice how to change the perspective. For example: Lan Meng wants to arrange the marriage of Haihu, so he encourages Oga to do something, and then he feels that the secret skills of retreat should be used. For the next big scene, the decisive battle on Easter Island, then in the next scene, you write about Oga Island catching the adulterous sea tiger Xiaotong. Even if this is a scene in the original work, use your own writing to expand and describe it. The final plot is not your own words. This not only makes the plot coherent, but also greatly reduces the number of words (no), why not do it. 3. As for more advanced questions... Emmm, let's practice the content in 1 and 2 in the follow-up of the novel. If you can practice character description, perspective switching and expansion, writing novels can be regarded as a small gain. In the middle of the night, my mind was not very clear, and maybe my writing was a little messy. In short, I hope you will continue to encourage me and hope you can achieve the results you want in the future.

Okay, quite good! The only pity is that there are too few people, which makes it poor.

This is a great book, which allows many characters in the original work to develop more fully, and many tragedies are avoided. It's great. In the next Martial God volume, with Chen Huan's intervention, Xie Bai in the original work must not be able to come out. I wonder if Takeo can be allowed to join the Thousand Army Martial God, so that the Thousand Army Takeo who can compete with Baishou Nan during the World Destruction War can appear in theory? Super looking forward to it. And when we finally fought against the Blue Kingdom, I think at that time Kebao was really capable of knocking off the giant shark that had been tormenting him in the original drama! Mouth

I would like to discuss here, if Blue Dream's "Red and Blue Dream" really comes true and the strong magnetic field spreads all over the universe, and if it really develops "outside the world" (that is, turns to the heavens), what world view or power can it not defeat even a million powerful people? There used to be a short animation series called "Cat and Dragon Four" on Station B, which featured a lot of spoofs about beings with the power of magnetic fields after time travel, but occasionally there are some that are invincible. I remember: "The Shawshank Redemption" and the "Dark Tower" world view (infinite stacking of boxes) of the world of "The Return of the Clown"; the "Ben10" series, in which two aliens can create and restart the world at will as long as they reach an agreement; the Japanese science fiction novel "Self-Reference Engine" (Self-Referring Engine)", an alien named "Centaur-Alpha" appears, with the power to span the "31st dimension"; ... What can you collect?

Gua, burn the old world to ashes 😠 😠 😠, I want to see the battle of teeth in heaven 😠 😠 😠!!! Even if I am nailed into an iron coffin, I will still shout in a decaying voice: "Trenched foreign persimmon, swallow my comment 😠😠😠!!!".

It's very good-looking. Although I only know a little bit about Haihu, at least I can see that it's not as brainless as other novels. The male protagonist also has personality charm. There is no bullshit system to mechanically deceive gods, and there is no superstition about the so-called plot. He has his own dreams and actions, and also has very good character portrayal. Come on (I have read too many articles that say the system is purely a system, and most of them rub my IQ on the ground, but if you ask me to choose, I will definitely choose I have a system [laughing])

The first star is for my contribution, the second star is for my hard work, the third star is for my fatigue, the fourth star is for my diligence, and the fifth star is for my McDonald's 😄

It's pretty good so far, but the writing is too little. I'll just take care of it for a while.

Gua! The Mohai Martial God blasted away all the regrets in the original work!

Greatness needs no words