When I first traveled to the Tang Dynasty and became Xuanzong, I was full of ambitions, but I turned a deaf ear to the loyal advice of Zhang Jiuling and other veterans. Instead, I believed in Li Linfu's flattery and allowed him to form cliques in the court for personal gain and disrupt the court.
After Li Linfu's death, Yang Guozhong gained power. He had no ability to govern the country and was bent on fighting for power. He fought endlessly with An Lushan, but I did not stop him, which made the conflicts in the court increasingly acute. I was intoxicated with the gentleness of Concubine Yang. In order to win her favor, I did not hesitate to waste money and people, transporting lychees from thousands of miles, feasting and having fun all day long, and neglecting government affairs.
In order to fill the fiscal vacancy, I followed Yang Guozhong's advice and increased taxes at will. The people were miserable and uprisings broke out in many places. Militaryly, I relied on my strong national power and over-delegated power to the Jiedushi envoys. An Lushan served as the Jiedushi envoy of three towns and held a large number of troops. Faced with reminders of his ambitions from others, I stubbornly chose to believe in his loyalty.
Until the Anshi Rebellion broke out and the rebels approached Chang'an, I had no choice but to embark on the road to escape. Maweiyi rebelled, and Concubine Yang died. Looking at the chaos and desolation in front of me, I woke up as if from a dream. I always thought that I could change history and become a wise monarch, but unknowingly I returned to the path of Tang Xuanzong's mediocrity. The advice I ignored, the chaos caused by my favoring of traitors, and the wrong decisions I made for my own selfish desires have all become evidence of the crime that pushed the prosperous age of the Tang Dynasty into the abyss. Only then did I realize that I am now the real Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty. The wise image I once had is gone, leaving only regret and powerlessness.
