Mother Told Me to Cultivate Immortality, and I Accidentally Became the Heavenly Dao

I’m Lei Dongdong. I live in Aotu Village, carefree and at ease. When I have nothing to do, I stroll around town; when I do have something to do, I eat, eat, eat. I eat spirit-pork buns made by the neighbor, Uncle; I eat the big white ducks raised by Big White Duck; I eat “Thunderclap Mushrooms” from the spirit-plant garden. My mother is a mystery. Every month, for a few days, she mercilessly kicks me out of the house. When trouble strikes, don’t panic: turn right outside and sneak next door to Huohuo’s place for a group hug and some warmth. But the next day, we’re both bundled up and thrown out of the village. Lei Dongdong sniffles, “Mom, you don’t have to cook for me tonight!” Mother Lei smiles. “Once you’re gone, I won’t have to cook at all!” First step outside the village: I get scammed! The city is full of tricks. I want to go back to the countryside. I join a great sect, take a weird master, and gain a whole bunch of strange friends: a ghost cultivator senior brother, a second senior sister who’s an imperial princess of the Yao Kingdom, a third senior brother who’s a demon cultivator and steward, and an all-around healer fourth senior sister. Lei Dongdong is over the moon. “Woohoo! With everything going my way, I’m going to take it easy!” But the more I laze around, the worse things get. Could I really be useless? Terrified, I scramble to my feet and get to work! Phew, it’s fine. I’m not useless, because I’m not even human! Forget lazing around. Get up and grind! My senior brother was killed for no reason, my second senior sister’s kingdom is in decline, my third senior brother’s family was wiped out, and my fourth senior sister has been an orphaned wanderer since childhood. This is a whole team of tragic backstories! After an incredible flurry of effort, I look back and find I’ve made a complete mess of things. What? I’m the source of all these tragedies! It’s fine. Help me back up, I can still fight. I can go dark, mutate, and watch my combat power soar. In that case... “You, so-called Heavenly Dao, get down here! It’s my turn to take over...”