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The heroine's experience in the first volume is adapted from my own story in the first half of my life. The original intention of writing this story was just to prevent myself from forgetting some past events due to the passage of time. The past brought me pain, beauty, sadness, and many emotions that I wanted to let go of but couldn't. I always tell myself over and over again not to be cruel to those painful memories, so I long for someone to save me from the fire and water, but the outcome is predictable. No one will save me, and I can't save myself. So I chose to end my life in the heavy snow at 2:33 a. M. On February 3, 2022. That day was 11 days after my 20th birthday. At that time, I even posted a message on WeChat Moments with the text "I'm afraid of death, but I'm even more afraid that no one will love me." It's ridiculous. I'm ready to die, and I'm still posting on WeChat Moments, hoping that someone can pay attention to me and save me from the fire and water. But the reality is always cruel. The snow is getting heavier and heavier, and there is no other information in my phone except my mother's abusive text messages. I always wonder, what kind of family do people need to be born in to truly feel love? I still can't think of an answer to this question. Because I couldn't understand the love brought by family, I wrote this book. The expression of love in the book is my current understanding of love.