Awarding Prizes to Emperors Throughout History, Starting with Consolation Prizes

Over the course of history, many rumors have sprung up, and emperors have been among the worst affected. Lin Xu is handing out consolation prizes to those “pitiful” emperors “in need of comfort.”

King You of Zhou: The story of him lighting the beacon fires to amuse his lords was made up. Consolation prize: one lighter.

Huhai: He took the throne at age twelve. He shouldn't have had to shoulder all that blame. Consolation prize: a copy of The Mental Health Self-Assessment Handbook.

Liu He, Marquis of Haihun: He supposedly did over a thousand wicked deeds in just twenty days? Consolation prize: hot pot and baijiu.

Sima Zhong: He was born with an intellectual disability, and there was nothing he could do about it. Consolation prize: Principles and Methods for Educating and Rehabilitating Children with Intellectual Disabilities.

Yang Guang: Was he really strangled to death? Consolation prize: one bolt of fine silk.

Zhao Guangyi: A master charioteer. Consolation prize: one fine donkey cart.

The two emperors Huizong and Qinzong: Forced to perform the sheep-leading ceremony? Consolation prize: two collars and two leashes.

Zhu Yuanzhang: His clan management was so poor. Consolation prize: a copy of How Parents Can Raise Their Children Properly.

Qianlong: Your poetry is that bad? Consolation prize: a deluxe edition of Three Hundred Tang Poems.

Cixi: Consolation prize: a couplet: “For over twenty years behind the curtain, year after year she ceded land; sixteen characters in her honorific title, every one a lie against Heaven.”

Lin Xu isn't just handing out prizes to emperors. He also wants to help every dynasty end barbaric practices such as human sacrifice, burial with the dead, and foot binding, improve people's lives, advance science and technology, and spread new ideas.

Long live the people!