This God of War Only Knows How to Run Away

The emperor ordered a court painter to create a painting titled “The God of War Yuan Daoji Marches to Battle.” One day, when His Majesty visited the painter's courtyard to inspect the work, he was stunned to find a horde of monsters besieging a city in the painting. The emperor flew into a rage: “What the hell?! What is this?” The painter replied: “Your Majesty, this is ‘The God of War Yuan Daoji Marches to Battle.’” “Who are all these people?! And why are there monsters?!” “Your Majesty, this is the frontier, where a horde of monsters is besieging a city.” The emperor roared, “I asked where my trusted general Yuan Daoji is!” “Your Majesty, General Yuan is making a getaway.” Facing the oncoming enemy, Yuan Daoji thought to himself: Of the Thirty-Six Stratagems, retreat is the best. If I can't beat you, surely I can outrun you? And so he ran.