Stephanie has a seemingly normal and glorious family, but behind the door of her home, violence and verbal abuse occur day after day. Parents transfer problems that they are unable to solve to the next generation. There is only disguise and self-paralysis in their world...
When she grew up, Stephanie left her family to live independently. With her intelligence and hard work, she became successful in her career at a young age. She thought she had long forgotten the hurt in the past, but she continued to encounter problems in her life, was unable to respond to the people she loved, and her mentality continued to collapse. With the help of a psychotherapist, Stephanie re-examined herself and saw that the past hurts had been engraved on her bones, and it was impossible to pretend that everything was over.
The pursuit of inner peace and true happiness is inherently a difficult journey. No one works harder than Stephanie. In extremely difficult moments, she recalled herself at every point in the past, just like spreading out a stack of playing cards. Each card showed a certain version of her: the helpless twelve-year-old, the rebellious self in college, the independent self in her twenties... When Stephanie looked through these, she kept saying to herself: "You are in pain, but you are doing your best to get better."
This book is a true experience that happened to an ordinary woman. This story about self-rescue is touching.
Reader comments
This is an autobiographical novel that is very, very worth reading. It tells the story of the author who experienced a complicated childhood and was diagnosed with complex traumatic stress disorder, and how to relearn how to love, how to trust, and how to exist like a child in life.
The author is a Chinese-American, but his native family combines all the fatal shortcomings of East Asian families (parental disagreement, mental suppression, physical abuse), as well as some common bad things that foreigners often do when they fall into depravity (alcoholism, racing). It can be said that it has all five poisons. Some details in this book make me feel very much like "The Joy Luck Club" I read in high school. Even though the author has grown up tenaciously, he still always feels that he is out of tune with the world and is surrounded by dangers.
While fighting the disease, she felt that she was getting better again and again but was knocked down quickly. The capriciousness of the world made me frown frequently, and I even began to hope that she was making it up. It was so touching to see her finally achieve happiness, or the ability to have happiness.
Not only the story, but also the many truths she learned on the way of exploration often made me shout "Yes! That's it! So what should I do next?" And then continue reading eagerly... Maybe those answers can also be mine.
All in all, I highly recommend anyone interested in psychology to read this book.
I really like this book. It was the first time I had a systematic understanding of complex traumatic disorder. Some of the answers mentioned in the book gave me a better understanding of myself when I was hurt in interpersonal relationships. I can also better understand people suffering from depression and other mental illnesses. Watching the author heal himself, I am happy for the author to finally find a way to coexist with trauma. The author is really powerful. Thank you for letting us see it. I wish us all over the world to live forever and find the life we want to enjoy love and be loved.
I cried while listening, [crying], who understands
I rarely follow a book until 4:30 in the morning. This book by the author not only made me cry during the empathy part, but also made me understand some truths. Now that I write it, we will not immediately become the good state we want because we lack synapses in these neurons. Such neurons need to be transmitted circuit signals by other neurons. Just like if I want to become as good a person as I imagined, I first need to create new interpersonal relationships. Just reading books is helpful, but re-establishing social relationships will help me generate new perceptions faster. Until the new perception system interacts with the parasympathetic nerve, I can get rid of psychological problems faster.
Secondary trauma and shame will not help me solve any problems, but will increase the communication problems. If I'm in defensive mode when communicating with others, I'm making the communication time longer and it's not conducive to the conversation.
Third, being sensible actually means being powerless against being hurt. Being sensible means lingering in trauma. People who truly love you will only give you enough love and will not let you wander in endless fear and shame after being traumatized.
Fourth, fearful people have a narrow view of the world.
Fifth, find a suitable consultant
Sixth, people who blame themselves and carry shame often believe that they are not worthy of intimate relationships.
Seventh, allow emotions to flow and return to your original self.
Eighth, the abused person expresses loyalty to the abuser by fearing the destruction of the relationship.
Thanks to the author, it is a good medicine for my life.
Distinguish between pain and suffering, allow yourself to grieve appropriately under appropriate circumstances, self-punishment will not help.
"I'm not a girl, I'm a sword."
The author is really great! !
Wow, it's very interesting to see a girl's growth and self-healing process. It's so touching. I seem to have an extra understanding. There are many things in it that touch me. It tells me that sometimes this disease can also be an advantage. I recommend everyone to read it!
Not bad. Everything the author gains today is what she deserves. She is worthy and she is strong. Admirable. I wish her and all living beings like her happiness. Pain is not terrible, don't be defeated by it. It's not scary to be knocked down by it, just lie down for a while and then stand up. [Laughing] [making faces]
I was just as shocked by this book as I was by Tara's book.
It tells the self-help process of a Cpdsd patient. The core is the time spent with Dr. Ham in the second half. There are large paragraphs of text in the article that are too long, and some of them are very annoying to readers. The author's experience applies more to Asians than to Chinese. Overall the author saved himself by writing this book.
Stephanie, be happy
When I read this book, I had many of the same thoughts as the author, which made me realize that I am not the only one who thinks this way [crying]
Healing is possible
Really effective
I really like the rhythm of the book here
Nothing to say, I feel the same way
If you realize that your grief may be due to illness, follow the author to find out how to save yourself.
Thank you, I learned a lot and I know how to better deal with trauma reactions.
A book that I like very much
The details are clear, and the empathy is reflected in the reality after injury.
The author is great and the content of the book is great.
This is an autobiographical novel that is very, very worth reading. It tells the story of the author who experienced a complicated childhood and was diagnosed with complex traumatic stress disorder, and how to relearn how to love, how to trust, and how to exist like a child in life. The author is a Chinese-American, but his native family combines all the fatal shortcomings of East Asian families (parental disagreement, mental suppression, physical abuse), as well as some common bad things that foreigners often do when they fall into depravity (alcoholism, racing). It can be said that it has all five poisons. Some details in this book make me feel very much like "The Joy Luck Club" I read in high school. Even though the author has grown up tenaciously, he still always feels that he is out of tune with the world and is surrounded by dangers. While fighting the disease, she felt that she was getting better again and again but was knocked down quickly. The capriciousness of the world made me frown frequently, and I even began to hope that she was making it up. It was so touching to see her finally achieve happiness, or the ability to have happiness. Not only the story, but also the many truths she learned on the way of exploration often made me shout "Yes! That's it! So what should I do next?" And then continue reading eagerly... Maybe those answers can also be mine. All in all, I highly recommend anyone interested in psychology to read this book.
I really like this book. It was the first time I had a systematic understanding of complex traumatic disorder. Some of the answers mentioned in the book gave me a better understanding of myself when I was hurt in interpersonal relationships. I can also better understand people suffering from depression and other mental illnesses. Watching the author heal himself, I am happy for the author to finally find a way to coexist with trauma. The author is really powerful. Thank you for letting us see it. I wish us all over the world to live forever and find the life we want to enjoy love and be loved.
I cried while listening, [crying], who understands I rarely follow a book until 4:30 in the morning. This book by the author not only made me cry during the empathy part, but also made me understand some truths. Now that I write it, we will not immediately become the good state we want because we lack synapses in these neurons. Such neurons need to be transmitted circuit signals by other neurons. Just like if I want to become as good a person as I imagined, I first need to create new interpersonal relationships. Just reading books is helpful, but re-establishing social relationships will help me generate new perceptions faster. Until the new perception system interacts with the parasympathetic nerve, I can get rid of psychological problems faster. Secondary trauma and shame will not help me solve any problems, but will increase the communication problems. If I'm in defensive mode when communicating with others, I'm making the communication time longer and it's not conducive to the conversation. Third, being sensible actually means being powerless against being hurt. Being sensible means lingering in trauma. People who truly love you will only give you enough love and will not let you wander in endless fear and shame after being traumatized. Fourth, fearful people have a narrow view of the world. Fifth, find a suitable consultant Sixth, people who blame themselves and carry shame often believe that they are not worthy of intimate relationships. Seventh, allow emotions to flow and return to your original self. Eighth, the abused person expresses loyalty to the abuser by fearing the destruction of the relationship. Thanks to the author, it is a good medicine for my life.
Distinguish between pain and suffering, allow yourself to grieve appropriately under appropriate circumstances, self-punishment will not help.
"I'm not a girl, I'm a sword." The author is really great! !
Wow, it's very interesting to see a girl's growth and self-healing process. It's so touching. I seem to have an extra understanding. There are many things in it that touch me. It tells me that sometimes this disease can also be an advantage. I recommend everyone to read it!
Not bad. Everything the author gains today is what she deserves. She is worthy and she is strong. Admirable. I wish her and all living beings like her happiness. Pain is not terrible, don't be defeated by it. It's not scary to be knocked down by it, just lie down for a while and then stand up. [Laughing] [making faces]
I was just as shocked by this book as I was by Tara's book.
It tells the self-help process of a Cpdsd patient. The core is the time spent with Dr. Ham in the second half. There are large paragraphs of text in the article that are too long, and some of them are very annoying to readers. The author's experience applies more to Asians than to Chinese. Overall the author saved himself by writing this book.
Stephanie, be happy
When I read this book, I had many of the same thoughts as the author, which made me realize that I am not the only one who thinks this way [crying]
Healing is possible
Really effective
I really like the rhythm of the book here
Nothing to say, I feel the same way
If you realize that your grief may be due to illness, follow the author to find out how to save yourself.
Thank you, I learned a lot and I know how to better deal with trauma reactions.
A book that I like very much
The details are clear, and the empathy is reflected in the reality after injury.
The author is great and the content of the book is great.