It's not that if you fall, someone will help you;
It doesn't mean that if you are in trouble, someone will help you;
It's not because you feel wronged that someone will care about you;
…
We have to walk the road by ourselves, bear the hardships by ourselves, and carry things by ourselves. Don't place your hopes on others. Adjust your mentality to make yourself strong enough. Relying on yourself and taking care of your own life is the greatest confidence in our life.
The author of this book, Qingshan, starts from the five dimensions of self-awakening, self-drive, self-challenge, letting go of expectations, and refusing internal friction, and tells how ordinary women can awaken from confusion and submission, and truly realize their own power. These true stories will provide us with ways to overcome difficulties and live a wonderful life!
Reader comments
I was lucky enough to finish reading "Dou Di" by Qingshan author at the end of April. What impressed me the most was, first of all, refusing to "wait, rely, and ask." "Waiting" means waiting for others to save you, "relying" means relying on others, even if the thing you rely on is a corner, you have to lean on it, and "wanting" means reaching out to ask for various things from others, but this is often the most unreliable and dangerous. Second, "disenchantment" refers to disenchanting the other party's identity (such as professor, idol, celebrity, CEO, rich second generation). We have to summarize why this group of senior figures are loved by so many people. Is it their unique vision, courage, or learning ability. Third, life is for experience, not for interpretation of perfection (perfection refers to a fixed pattern that no longer changes, which means the end. What it reflects is a kind of ignorance of reality, accomplished overnight, caring about other people's opinions, and hurting yourself). We can allow ourselves to make mistakes occasionally (when we encounter something, we can do it directly and pass it through afterwards. Polish and update it over and over again, so that it is close to the good state over and over again, and you will have new cognitions and experiences in the process). Finally, I randomly selected a few sentences that I like as a summary, "No matter who you live with, you are living with yourself."
Qingshan's "Dou Di" is a masterpiece focusing on women's self-awakening and growth.
Based on his own experience, the author analyzes the dilemma of contemporary women in social expectations and family roles, and puts forward the core proposition of "self-protection" - only relying on inner strength can break the constraints and internal friction of the outside world.
Through the five dimensions of "self-awakening, drive, challenge, letting go of expectations, and refusing internal friction", combined with real cases and 18 practical tips, the book provides women with an action guide from confusion to sobriety.
The concept of "black vitality" in the book is particularly profound, revealing the growth momentum hidden in difficulties and emphasizing the survival philosophy of "you have to walk your own road, and you have to eat the hardships yourself".
In the context of marriage and childbearing anxiety and identity binding, "Back to the Bottom" directly addresses the collective plight of women with sharp but warm writing. It can be called a declaration of awakening with both ideological depth and practical value.
Read on 2025.2.2
As long as there is light in your heart, there will be a path under your feet; as long as your faith remains, your dreams will eventually shine into reality.
This book is chicken soup for the soul, a great tonic. After falling out of love, I was also considering whether I should compromise with my life and get married if the conditions were right! But I found that this is not the case. My imperfect personality before getting married will cause hidden dangers after getting married, which is not good for myself and others. We spend our entire lives searching for the missing piece of ourselves! Therefore, working hard to make yourself a high-value person and giving yourself a way out is the foundation of life. The essence of marriage is value exchange, so cultivate yourself first. You guys should work hard too! I am also writing novels recently, and I can also earn some royalties. I even made a self-media account! Because there are things I want to buy and people I love I want to protect! New year, full of energy! From now on, the world is in front of me... Dear friends in front of the screen, please come on!
It is very practical. There is a power calling deep in my heart. This power is clearly written by the author. It is really like talking to myself, and it is also like a mirror illuminating myself and helping me see myself clearly.
This book is mainly based on inner thoughts and feelings! The author's writing style is smooth and delicate. He is also a good thinker and has given many methodologies! When I had some free time, I looked through it and found that there are also nutrients in chicken soup.
After reading it, an invisible force seemed to push me, because I have also been injured, and I am still internally consumed and unable to free myself. I spend every day in anger and grievance. I want to escape from the real world, and I want to start over, but there is nothing I can do. I am nearly fifty, and I feel that it is too late for everything.
I like Chapter 4 so much. Rejection and waiting are the key. Disenchant those you think are strong. The energy you project will strengthen the aura of others and make yourself appear dimmer. We should withdraw the enthusiasm we invest in others and only polish ourselves carefully. We can also shine. What you think is unattainable in others is actually a paper tiger.
As long as they don't benefit from you, other people's highlight moments have nothing to do with you. Just like the lights elsewhere are like daylight, your world can only be bright enough for others to see you.
This book comes from the autobiography of a reborn new-age woman, telling how she experienced the black forest in her life, gave birth to her black vitality in the black forest, and found herself. The black life force made her more calm in life. She began to establish boundaries, stopped catering, and became aggressive. She began to reflect on herself alone, analyze what she really is like, abandon her incorrect ideas and concepts, focus on herself, reshape her own cognition and three views, and strengthen her beliefs! The most important task in a person's life is to continuously improve himself. After experiencing the darkness of darkness, I realized that everyone has their own issues, and the only one you can control is yourself. Reduce the influence of others on yourself and withdraw your attention. Only by experiencing great suffering can the mind grow in wisdom, and only by suffering the body can blessings become deeper!
Don't be far-fetched, don't pretend to be profound, use the most real examples to illustrate the simplest principles. It is recommended that women read it in depth and detail.
It was super enjoyable to watch, and I felt pain, enlightenment and feelings at the same time. Girls should wake up early and make their own decisions in life, and develop the ability to protect themselves early instead of placing their hopes on anyone else.
The continuous golden sentences are enlightening and empowering, making people move forward with confidence. There is a lot of knowledge about positive psychology, combined with vivid examples, the truth is profound but easy to understand.
The past ten years or so have not been easy either. There has been constant internal friction, and I can't get rid of it, and I can't leave it. I have read a lot of books on intimacy, and now I am slowly calming down, feeling my inner and outer children, and preparing to raise myself again. I am myself, not a sleeping daughter, no one's wife, no one's mother, I am still myself, and I seek everything from within.
I came across this book on Douyin. I was so excited after reading it that I wanted to read it again and take notes on the classic parts.
It's beautiful, really inspiring, and suitable for everyone to read!
I seem to have vaguely grasped the method of advancing and retreating from the outside world before reading this book. After reading this book, I became more convinced. The world is not divided into pure black and pure white. All good and bad things that appear must be experienced. I don't want to remain ignorant, so I go through hardships and review myself. We don't have to endure hardships, but we should find a better version of ourselves in the hardships and challenges we can accept. After all the good and bad are overcome or broken, you will become a better self.
Reading this book gave me a true and thorough understanding of what "loving yourself" means. Not only external performance, but more importantly, inner strength, knowing oneself, understanding oneself, adjusting oneself, and the word "awakening" proposed by the author, awakening the inner self, driving the inner self, and turning "impossible" into "possible" step by step
The power of self-awareness is huge! Everyone is born self-sufficient. The views shared by the author are so advanced [like][like][like]. I strongly recommend every girl to read this book, so that we can constantly update and iterate and enjoy our own evolution! Be the controller of your own life. The person at the helm [send your heart][send your heart][send your heart]
Not only do I love you with flowers, but I also love you with mud. None of us are perfect people [blowing kiss]
I feel the same way. I hope I can get out of adversity quickly and have black vitality.
I am now 38 years old. I have experienced an emotional blow and was once in a bad mood. But the black power in my heart has never given up on me! From seeking outside to seeking inward, it is the first time to truly cultivate yourself!
Thank you very much to the author for sharing, allowing me to see my own reflection in the book. Learn from experience and lessons from now on, love yourself well and let yourself shine!
Very practical and a help in growth
A book worth studying and worth studying. I hope every girl can move forward bravely.
It's such a wise book that's worth reading over and over again. Reading fills your heart with strength.
Helps you wake up and get on the right track in life
This book inspired me a lot. I used to care a lot about other people's opinions of me, but after reading this chapter, I understood not to care about other people's opinions.
It makes people wake up and find out where their problems lie!
Only by protecting yourself can you live a wonderful life!
Very sincere, like finding a close friend
It's very interesting. I learned a lot from this book. I was still confused this morning and I didn't expect to have a "solution" so soon.
I was lucky enough to finish reading "Dou Di" by Qingshan author at the end of April. What impressed me the most was, first of all, refusing to "wait, rely, and ask." "Waiting" means waiting for others to save you, "relying" means relying on others, even if the thing you rely on is a corner, you have to lean on it, and "wanting" means reaching out to ask for various things from others, but this is often the most unreliable and dangerous. Second, "disenchantment" refers to disenchanting the other party's identity (such as professor, idol, celebrity, CEO, rich second generation). We have to summarize why this group of senior figures are loved by so many people. Is it their unique vision, courage, or learning ability. Third, life is for experience, not for interpretation of perfection (perfection refers to a fixed pattern that no longer changes, which means the end. What it reflects is a kind of ignorance of reality, accomplished overnight, caring about other people's opinions, and hurting yourself). We can allow ourselves to make mistakes occasionally (when we encounter something, we can do it directly and pass it through afterwards. Polish and update it over and over again, so that it is close to the good state over and over again, and you will have new cognitions and experiences in the process). Finally, I randomly selected a few sentences that I like as a summary, "No matter who you live with, you are living with yourself."
Qingshan's "Dou Di" is a masterpiece focusing on women's self-awakening and growth. Based on his own experience, the author analyzes the dilemma of contemporary women in social expectations and family roles, and puts forward the core proposition of "self-protection" - only relying on inner strength can break the constraints and internal friction of the outside world. Through the five dimensions of "self-awakening, drive, challenge, letting go of expectations, and refusing internal friction", combined with real cases and 18 practical tips, the book provides women with an action guide from confusion to sobriety. The concept of "black vitality" in the book is particularly profound, revealing the growth momentum hidden in difficulties and emphasizing the survival philosophy of "you have to walk your own road, and you have to eat the hardships yourself". In the context of marriage and childbearing anxiety and identity binding, "Back to the Bottom" directly addresses the collective plight of women with sharp but warm writing. It can be called a declaration of awakening with both ideological depth and practical value.
Read on 2025.2.2 As long as there is light in your heart, there will be a path under your feet; as long as your faith remains, your dreams will eventually shine into reality. This book is chicken soup for the soul, a great tonic. After falling out of love, I was also considering whether I should compromise with my life and get married if the conditions were right! But I found that this is not the case. My imperfect personality before getting married will cause hidden dangers after getting married, which is not good for myself and others. We spend our entire lives searching for the missing piece of ourselves! Therefore, working hard to make yourself a high-value person and giving yourself a way out is the foundation of life. The essence of marriage is value exchange, so cultivate yourself first. You guys should work hard too! I am also writing novels recently, and I can also earn some royalties. I even made a self-media account! Because there are things I want to buy and people I love I want to protect! New year, full of energy! From now on, the world is in front of me... Dear friends in front of the screen, please come on!
It is very practical. There is a power calling deep in my heart. This power is clearly written by the author. It is really like talking to myself, and it is also like a mirror illuminating myself and helping me see myself clearly.
This book is mainly based on inner thoughts and feelings! The author's writing style is smooth and delicate. He is also a good thinker and has given many methodologies! When I had some free time, I looked through it and found that there are also nutrients in chicken soup.
After reading it, an invisible force seemed to push me, because I have also been injured, and I am still internally consumed and unable to free myself. I spend every day in anger and grievance. I want to escape from the real world, and I want to start over, but there is nothing I can do. I am nearly fifty, and I feel that it is too late for everything.
I like Chapter 4 so much. Rejection and waiting are the key. Disenchant those you think are strong. The energy you project will strengthen the aura of others and make yourself appear dimmer. We should withdraw the enthusiasm we invest in others and only polish ourselves carefully. We can also shine. What you think is unattainable in others is actually a paper tiger. As long as they don't benefit from you, other people's highlight moments have nothing to do with you. Just like the lights elsewhere are like daylight, your world can only be bright enough for others to see you.
This book comes from the autobiography of a reborn new-age woman, telling how she experienced the black forest in her life, gave birth to her black vitality in the black forest, and found herself. The black life force made her more calm in life. She began to establish boundaries, stopped catering, and became aggressive. She began to reflect on herself alone, analyze what she really is like, abandon her incorrect ideas and concepts, focus on herself, reshape her own cognition and three views, and strengthen her beliefs! The most important task in a person's life is to continuously improve himself. After experiencing the darkness of darkness, I realized that everyone has their own issues, and the only one you can control is yourself. Reduce the influence of others on yourself and withdraw your attention. Only by experiencing great suffering can the mind grow in wisdom, and only by suffering the body can blessings become deeper!
Don't be far-fetched, don't pretend to be profound, use the most real examples to illustrate the simplest principles. It is recommended that women read it in depth and detail.
It was super enjoyable to watch, and I felt pain, enlightenment and feelings at the same time. Girls should wake up early and make their own decisions in life, and develop the ability to protect themselves early instead of placing their hopes on anyone else.
The continuous golden sentences are enlightening and empowering, making people move forward with confidence. There is a lot of knowledge about positive psychology, combined with vivid examples, the truth is profound but easy to understand.
The past ten years or so have not been easy either. There has been constant internal friction, and I can't get rid of it, and I can't leave it. I have read a lot of books on intimacy, and now I am slowly calming down, feeling my inner and outer children, and preparing to raise myself again. I am myself, not a sleeping daughter, no one's wife, no one's mother, I am still myself, and I seek everything from within.
I came across this book on Douyin. I was so excited after reading it that I wanted to read it again and take notes on the classic parts.
It's beautiful, really inspiring, and suitable for everyone to read!
I seem to have vaguely grasped the method of advancing and retreating from the outside world before reading this book. After reading this book, I became more convinced. The world is not divided into pure black and pure white. All good and bad things that appear must be experienced. I don't want to remain ignorant, so I go through hardships and review myself. We don't have to endure hardships, but we should find a better version of ourselves in the hardships and challenges we can accept. After all the good and bad are overcome or broken, you will become a better self.
Reading this book gave me a true and thorough understanding of what "loving yourself" means. Not only external performance, but more importantly, inner strength, knowing oneself, understanding oneself, adjusting oneself, and the word "awakening" proposed by the author, awakening the inner self, driving the inner self, and turning "impossible" into "possible" step by step
The power of self-awareness is huge! Everyone is born self-sufficient. The views shared by the author are so advanced [like][like][like]. I strongly recommend every girl to read this book, so that we can constantly update and iterate and enjoy our own evolution! Be the controller of your own life. The person at the helm [send your heart][send your heart][send your heart]
Not only do I love you with flowers, but I also love you with mud. None of us are perfect people [blowing kiss]
I feel the same way. I hope I can get out of adversity quickly and have black vitality.
I am now 38 years old. I have experienced an emotional blow and was once in a bad mood. But the black power in my heart has never given up on me! From seeking outside to seeking inward, it is the first time to truly cultivate yourself!
Thank you very much to the author for sharing, allowing me to see my own reflection in the book. Learn from experience and lessons from now on, love yourself well and let yourself shine!
Very practical and a help in growth
A book worth studying and worth studying. I hope every girl can move forward bravely.
It's such a wise book that's worth reading over and over again. Reading fills your heart with strength.
Helps you wake up and get on the right track in life
This book inspired me a lot. I used to care a lot about other people's opinions of me, but after reading this chapter, I understood not to care about other people's opinions.
It makes people wake up and find out where their problems lie!
Only by protecting yourself can you live a wonderful life!
Very sincere, like finding a close friend
It's very interesting. I learned a lot from this book. I was still confused this morning and I didn't expect to have a "solution" so soon.