Late Ming: From the Start, I Kicked Qian Qianyi into the Water

[Late Ming + Passion + Ruthless Combat + Power Struggles + Humor]

"What? You, Qian Qianyi, think the water's too cold?"

"Then get in!" Xia Shang kicks Qian Qianyi into the river.

"So this is Hong Chengchou's wife? She really is quite luscious." Xia Shang reclines on the bed and sighs.

"You, Sun Zhixie, like shaving heads?"

"All right, all right! I'll give you a shave, then send you to Liaodong to live as a real Jurchen barbarian!" Xia Shang thinks with a wicked grin.

"In ancient times, Huo Qubing sealed the Wolf's Mount; today, the Marquis of Anbei has crushed the Mongols!"

"The Turkic khagans offered dances in the Tang dynasty; now the chieftain of the slaves, Huang Taiji, dances for us!"

"Congratulations, Your Majesty! Huang Taiji, Li Zicheng, and Dorgon have all been subdued. This is a blessing bestowed by Heaven upon Your Majesty." Xia Shang stands to one side and bows with cupped hands.

"I shall report to my imperial ancestors: Huang Taiji, Li Zicheng, and Dorgon have all been beheaded by me. I have done right by our ancestors." Chongzhen declares happily in the great hall.

"Then what must Your Majesty do to make things right by me?" Xia Shang stands off to the side of the hall, then suddenly smiles, the corners of his mouth turning up.

"What do you mean?" Chongzhen turns to stare at Xia Shang in surprise.

"What do I mean? Your Majesty should be a sage ruler like Yao and Shun!"