Lei Chan transmigrates as a little loach in the Three Stars Cave on the Slanting Moon Mountain. With no backer and no talent, he’s doomed from the start.
Luckily, he can write a diary, and whatever he writes becomes true.
A diary isn’t something you can just make things up in.
So why does the Jade Emperor get so angry whenever he writes something [made up]? His face turns green with rage...
Sun Wukong is brought before the Hall of Miraculous Mists.
The Star of Martial Arts: “The Imperial Stable needs someone to...”
The Jade Emperor: “Damn it, there’s always some fool trying to harm me. I’m not an idiot.”
So he declares: “This monkey and I are fated to meet. I bestow on him the title of Prince Who Stands as My Equal, on par with me!”
Lei Chan writes in his diary:
[So what if the Great Senior Brother has been bought off by the Jade Emperor? Someone still wants to overthrow Heaven’s rule, don’t they?]
[Heaven’s downfall is only a matter of time. I’ll find a chance to bring the Great Senior Brother along and cozy up to the Western powers.]
What? There are still rebels trying to harm me? The Jade Emperor’s eyes fly open, and he spits up a mouthful of blood.
At Biyou Palace, the Heaven-Connecting Patriarch says:
“Daoist friend Lei Chan, with my power as a Sage, I invite you to rule the Jie Sect with me.”
“I’m willing to become sworn brothers with you and help you claim the throne of Heaven!”
[Heaven-Connecting wants to swear brotherhood with me. I can’t go west for now, so I’d better agree... That actually sounds pretty good.]
Damn it, this kid still wants to join the Jie Sect? Should I swallow my pride and beg him to stay? The Jade Emperor’s face contorts with fury.
Bull Demon King: “You need the Buddhists’ help for something this trivial? I can settle it with one swing of my staff!”
Lei Chan writes in his diary:
[Bull Demon King is sworn brothers with the Great Senior Brother. If I cozy up to the Western powers, I should bring him along too.]
Damn it, this loach is trying to poach people right from under my nose? The Jade Emperor grits his teeth in fury.
