Reborn as a Family Member of the Volunteer Army

The time travel was a bit crazy at the beginning, but the more you read it, the more interesting it became. Especially the author's rich knowledge of poetry makes the whole novel very beautiful. I praise it...

First of all, let me give you a five-star rating. The article is very elegant, but it has some flaws. I saw some people commenting that the article is concise, but to be honest, I don't think so (of course, I'm not looking for fault, I just hope the author can do better [think]). Here are some areas that I think need improvement (for reference only) "Yaqin's father, an ordinary member of the millions of peasant men in Fengdu County, Sichuan, is working hard. His figure looks particularly tough under the scorching sun. His burly trousers are rolled up to his knees, revealing his strong calves. By The hoe's palms are thickly calloused, and he is clenching the hoe handle to turn over the soil. Although his movements are simple but rhythmic, each stroke of the hoe is like a paintbrush spreading the heavy hope of harvest on the earth. " In this paragraph, "Yaqin's father, an ordinary member of the millions of peasant men in Fengdu County, Sichuan, is working hard, and his figure looks particularly tough under the scorching sun." I think it should be changed to "Under the scorching sun, the body of Yaqin's father (to be honest, it would be best if you could take the time to think of a name, it feels so weird), looks extremely tough, like a shadow that abbreviates the hard work of millions of farmers." Although my typing is not perfect, it is not too stiff at least. To be honest, the original text is a bit elementary school-oriented. I wrote it like this in elementary school [laughter] "With a burly figure, his trousers were rolled up to his knees, exposing his strong calves. His hands, which were thickly calloused by the hoe, were gripping the handle of the hoe and turning over the land. Although his movements were simple, they were full of rhythm. Each hoe stroke was like a paintbrush spreading the heavy hope of a good harvest on the earth." This paragraph is really a bit long-winded, "burly" and "hoeed" (palms covered with thick calluses) (gripping the handle of the hoe and turning the soil steadily) (his movements are simple, capable and rhythmic) (it seems like it can be replaced with "like" to be more down-to-earth) Do you think it's better? How should I put it? After reading it for a while, the paragraph feels like rhetoric for the sake of rhetoric, without spirituality. Although the words are gorgeous, they are flashy. Take us who study art as an example, if there are too many paintings, it will be messy and look dirty. If it is neat and tidy, it will look beautiful. Of course, it is not without some good works. "Yaqin's father sat on the ridge of the field, took out a worn pipe from his arms, lit it slowly, and took a deep breath. The taste of tobacco spread in his mouth. The smoke filled the air with the chirping of birds on the branches, and his mind was relaxed for a moment. This land is not only his family's livelihood, but also his roots and his soul. No matter how difficult life is, he will stick to this land and create a better life for his family and future generations. Closing his eyes, Yaqin's father allowed himself to be completely immersed in this silent field. The chirping of birds in my ears was joined by the rising and falling sounds of frogs, and the rustling of rice ears in the wind. At this moment, he seemed to see the joy of his eldest son getting married and having children, and heard the joyful suona sound of Yaoer Yaqin getting married..." This long paragraph is very beautiful, so beautiful that I can hardly find any fault with it. (The only fault is that it is too beautiful and takes away all the description of this chapter. In fact, this is a very good ending to a book or a large chapter, but for a small chapter, it is a bit too eye-catching. After all, this is the end of a small chapter. It is neither the climax nor the center point. It would be better if you could remove the next two paragraphs [blowing kiss]) "After a short rest, he got up and continued to work. He had to work tirelessly to make this land more fertile, to be worthy of the efforts and expectations of his predecessors, and to allow his wife and children to live a worry-free life. As the sun gradually set, Yaqin's father finished work and returned home. A grasshopper was startled, waved its short whip-like tentacles, kicked off its powerful hind legs, and jumped into the green plants..." We already know that the old father is working hard, and we also know that sooner or later the stall will be closed down, so why bother saying more. If you remove these two sentences, then the ending of this chapter will be very beautiful. These two sentences seem very, very redundant and extremely affect the perception! If you can not pursue excessive and gorgeous rhetorical expressions, but pursue words and phrases that are simpler, more profound, and capable of writing but can make readers understand, then that will be a good description. What you have now, I can only say that you are not mature yet. By the way, there is another very important point. Our art pays attention to the richness and shaping of the subject, the details in the visual center, and the light and dark of the object environment. The same goes for articles. The main events can be described more and depicted more. The secondary ones, the icing on the cake, can be mentioned in a few strokes, because it only enriches the color of the article and polishes it. It is equivalent to many small transitions (I don't know if you understand it or not). The less described secondary ones will not take away the main ones, so that the context will be clear, the readers will understand, and the reading will be better. These are just some suggestions from readers. Correct the big mistakes first. Small problems will be discussed later. If it is just based on accumulated experience, when will it be resolved? I suggest you calm down first and feel your articles. Okay, that's all, it's four o'clock😋 I feel so happy

A very innovative novel, the characters are deeply portrayed, and the scenes have a sense of the times.

This novel is really interesting. The content and plot are very well written.

It's good-looking, the writing is simple and concise, and the writing style is unique. I didn't originally read the setting of ancient times and the present, but this novel is really good-looking and kept me reading. It's just a bit short and not enough to read.

I revised and listened and read simultaneously over and over again, striving to be presentable. In short, I am writing seriously. If readers have good suggestions, I will accept them and continue to revise them. I look forward to pertinent comments...