I Pick Up Crystals on the Pitch

“Even if Chinese football is everyone's spittoon, it's still the Holy Grail in my heart.”

These words were spoken by He Wei, the CCTV commentator known as the Poet of Football.

To those who know little about Chinese football, they may sound both pitiful and laughable.

But for true Chinese football fans, they bring to mind:

The line from the commentary at Changsha's home game in the sixth round of the 2016 World Cup qualifiers: “There isn't much time left for South Korea.”

The heartbreak in Malacca in the eighth round, after falling behind, taking the lead, and then being pegged back by a late equalizer.

The decisive penalty in the ninth round against Uzbekistan, when Gao Lin stood firm under pressure and scored the spot kick no one else dared to take, keeping the suspense alive until the final round.

Captain Zheng Zhi's post-match interview after the Dragon Team's 0–3 elimination from the 2019 Asian Cup.

The Dragon Team's dispiriting record of one win, three draws, and six losses in the final round of the Asian qualifiers for the 2022 Qatar World Cup.

Our story begins in the depths of Chinese football, after Lionel Messi was crowned the king of football at the Qatar World Cup.

“This pitch has never lacked for talent. In the end, hard work is the only ticket in…”

Those were the last words spoken to the media by Gao Huan, the all-time leading scorer for the Chinese national team, before he retired in 2038.

Almost everyone attributed his achievements to talent, hard work, and the footballing genius he inherited from his ancestor Gao Qiu, the Grand Commandant, whom some unscrupulous media outlet had dragged into the spotlight for clicks.

But perhaps the world will never understand why, after scoring in any match, this King Gao always made a beeline for the section of the stands where the opposing team's fans were seated…

[Haters of the Chinese national team, read at your own risk]