Flirting, Starting Aboard the Xianzhou

Not bad, that's all I can say. You can see it, but I don't know if it's an illusion. The sense of separation is a bit strong? Perhaps? Did I make a mistake in writing a comprehensive comic based on Shu's world view? It's not that I can't write, it just feels weird. (I'm just talking about the chat group, maybe the sense of division will not be too strong) After all, it is known that the function of the protagonist Goldfinger is probably some authority, but the strength cannot be seen. The authority of the tree can at most travel to the world of a system. After all, he is not the strongest. If he were the strongest, it would still make sense in the worldview of the Breakthrough Tree. So it's very strange to read. I also know the world view set by the author. Can the protagonist's golden finger be clearly stated at least? You can get a data panel like the Great Sage. To be honest, it's a bit unclear. For example, what are the protagonist's abilities? (In terms of abilities, for example, why can the coordinates of other worldviews be located? Logically speaking, the goldfinger designed by the author for the protagonist was created based on the premise of the tree of imaginary numbers. However, even if the ability of the tree worldview is the strongest, it is impossible to break through the original worldview and anchor other worlds. But if the goldfinger is higher than the ability in the tree, then it will be understandable. Again, the specific abilities of the protagonist goldfinger are not fully written, so the sense of division is strong) and what is the goal of the protagonist? (If you say collecting xll, just pretend I didn't say it) Then I would like to make some suggestions about the plot, and I would like to shorten it a little bit. Although it is indeed written very delicately, it feels boring after watching too much. I admit that your writing is very detailed, but there are some things that can be shortened, such as interactions with others and detailed descriptions of things and scenes (to be honest, it is okay if you write some details of things briefly and it will not affect the perception). Sometimes it is not good to write too delicately. You can write more intimate details. After all, most readers are here for this, so there is no need to describe other small things too specifically. "Finally, if you like the writing style to be very delicate, you can come in and take a look. Not to mention the exquisiteness, the author is very good at it, and the plot is also okay. There are some shortcomings in the world view, such as the problems I mentioned above. And sometimes the relationship aspect is a little too hasty. For example, after meeting a female character that I met, the memoirs will be automatically triggered from time to time, such as how they met and what they did together after they met. Then there is no difference between the protagonist's physique and the succubus' physique." "To be honest, I wrote this review seriously, and there are quite a lot of improvements. Come on, author, there won't be any small poison or big poison. You can definitely watch the final episode, but the audience may not be too large. After the outline is constructed, at least the protagonist's abilities and what the protagonist will do should be clearly written, right? But if you haven't written these two clearly, at least write one clearly. I won't say that the comments are too accurate, but most authors can still read them Oh, by the way, although the title of the book may have clearly stated the goal, I still recommend at least mentioning it in the text. Another thing I forgot to mention is that intimacy refers to sticking with the female character. The kind of details that you write will not be mentioned by readers. Occasionally, it's okay to brush off the edges. Most readers are definitely here for this. As long as you don't write too explicit, the reviewer won't say anything. For example, if you can use other words to describe the details or you are too lazy to write, just take a screenshot and post it in the chapter review with a little blurring. Just like the all-female illustrated book next door, the Six Fen Street Collection. The author of that book is really good at showing readers 🤦. After all, the main thing you write about in this book is posting content. It's not impossible to learn the operation from next door. "Open your mind," you know? After opening up the idea, there must be a score of 7:00 to 8:00, not to mention other things. To be honest, the problem with your book is not that big. It just lacks something eye-catching. Just do it as mentioned above. There will definitely not be too few updates every day.

It's too long to describe my heart

Really, seriously. Too bold. The writing is very novel. 🤔 Very 6