The representative work of Japanese feminist legend Yoko Tajima is introduced for the first time. The desire to be loved is a lifelong trap for women. Starting from personal experience, the author tells the ideological process of growing up as a "feminist" under "kinship oppression".
This book explores the existential issues that resonate deeply with all East Asian women, and boldly exposes structural discrimination in the fields of family of origin, marriage, work, and childcare. This book answers questions such as "Why is it so difficult for women to live? How to get rid of pain? How to fight in the future?" Critics believe that this book is the best introduction to Japanese feminism and an important reading for contemporary feminist thought.
Reader comments
When I came across this book for the first time, I didn't expect that it would have been published in the past few years. It's 2024 now, and it's hard to imagine how many women have awakened at that time. Looking at the structure of men and women in the world from the author's perspective did give me a different idea. I had a feeling of enlightenment and confusion, but this seems to be explainable, because long-term female discrimination has penetrated into our culture and customs, making us so accustomed to it that it is not a kind of discrimination.
Some people read the story, and some people look in the mirror.
I feel relieved now, very good book.
It's very beautiful and has a strong sense of immersion. But this book ripped away the fig leaf so straightforwardly that it made me feel powerless. What a strong book, the content is still strong even after 20 years. Thank you so much.
This is a great book. I recommend all girls to read it. For those things in life that feel uncomfortable but can't explain why, and that once suspected that they were too sensitive, the reasons and specific examples can be found in it.
Many examples are really in line with the current situation of East Asian countries and help us once again realize what feminism is and what is our own feminism!
After reading it, I became more aware of the status of women. Women have been fighting for their rights since ancient times. The female predecessors in the past woke up because of their misfortune and humbleness. They were discriminated against and disrespected by men. Because of their laws, there have been some changes, and women have gradually gained status and dignity. However, until now, the word equality between men and women still has more slogans and less implementation. Women should pay more attention to themselves, improve themselves, make themselves valuable, and stop sacrificing themselves like women in ancient times and feel that they are great. Each of us puts ourselves first before everyone else. Anyway, you must have your own thoughts, not be influenced by others, and live out your own value. Only a woman has value, not the reproductive value defined by her own society. She should have her own value and her own personality.
Thank you very much for having such a beautiful book, it is very helpful to me. Wow, there are 47 underlines... It is a book worth reading again. It has been more than 20 years since this book is still out of date. It would be great if more people read this book and would be reminded of Beauvoir's The Second Sex. There are so many things worth pondering and many insights... Being like a grassroots woman gives me a lot of strength, and about women's awakening... Of course... You don't have to wake up. You can sleep if you want, it should be absolutely free. If I want to get married and have children in the future... I hope I can control myself... And don't put so many restrictions on my partner and children. I hope I can read more books and gain more insights. Thanks to the efforts of my ancestors, I can read books [crying] It feels so much [crying] It's great. Tomato has so many books to read. It's so fulfilling.
I have some foundation in feminism, but I only read bits and pieces on the Internet, and I am vaguely afraid of more in-depth analysis. Although it is avant-garde enough and I can discuss it with my sisters, some issues do easily confuse me.
For example, some sisters who are also feminists will have excessive expectations for feminism, have more moral requirements for women, and require feminists to care for the elderly, children, housewives, and even men.
And there are moral judgments on some women in high positions, thinking that their actions are not in line with the kindness and gentleness of feminism. This often troubles me. Is this a restraint on women?
Today this question has been answered here. The ultimate goal of feminism will lead to a better and more equal society, but we are like developing countries, which are not yet able to take into account the pollution caused by the development process and provide some humanitarian relief. However, developed countries have completed the bloody accumulation of capital, but require us to slow down or even make a turn in order to protect the environment. Then our development will be dragged down or even swayed.
In any case, even if female capitalists oppress the bottom class, it is a better choice than male capitalists oppressing everyone while further oppressing women. Although we do not necessarily have to follow this path, we must also recognize the allies who may be walking on the road together.
"The top priority here is "I", not feminism; it is not "I" who implement feminism, but feminism is useful to "me", so I use it." This passage is one of my favorite excerpts in the entire book. Feminism is important, but the ultimate proposition is to return to women themselves.
I didn't expect that this was feminism thirty years ago! It's still so shocking, which shows that today's society is still very backward after more than 30 years! The analysis is profound and comprehensive! Great book! ! !
Please always hold the right to choose your life in your own hands. Any other seemingly simple measures will reduce yourself to a pet. The control rights of pets always fluctuate between the moods of their owners.
"When we understand feminism, we understand that women are one. We become each other's sisters simply by being women. The most touching moments are the moments when we realize we are connected in the timeline."
It was very immersive to read this book, because the content of this book really gives women a lot to think about. You may understand a lot after reading this book. It may not be able to help you make changes in your life immediately, or help you get out of trouble immediately, but it can guide you, pursue yourself, and ultimately find a path of your own.
This book is still dazzling when I read it now in 2025. As a woman, the self-perception of gender that I have always been confused about has been solved. Well worth reading. Especially female friends will definitely have a change in their self-perception after reading this book.
The author described in the editor's note, I think is very good and I like that kind of woman: "Ms. Tajima Yoko, who is in her seventies, is not arrogant, looks the same, has a sense of humor, and exudes sunshine energy. She is not only talkative, but also good at listening. She is not rigid at all. When she encounters young people's words that she does not understand, she will ask very frankly: "What does that mean? "The youthfulness of her spiritual world is also reflected in her appearance. Her posture is upright, her steps are light and cheerful, her colorful clothes set off her temperament, and her whole person is radiant. To describe it in one sentence, she is a person who makes people feel very comfortable." The author has lived up to the excellent female image she wants to be in her writing.
Women are inherently strong and excellent
I was very lucky to read this book. At first, I didn't want to read it because it was written by a Japanese author because of the different cultural era. But after reading it, I found that the plight of women described by the author is actually not much different from ours. It is a very good book.
I feel more deeply that women need to be independent, spiritually self-reliant, break those external social disciplines first, and then be financially self-reliant.
Hits the point, and the metaphor of the boat helps to understand [Like]
The language is concise, the examples are appropriate, and the essence of the problem is sharply pointed out. It is suitable for every reader who is not arrogant and is sincerely willing to see the most cruel and possible side of the world.
It is not easy to be able to explain complex things clearly in simple language and use vivid metaphors so that everyone can understand the meaning of the article.
Every woman should read this book, which is comparable to the "Tao Te Ching" and represents the morality of being a woman.
The media of the male gaze is male-oriented media.
I hope that I can step out of my surroundings, myself, and the framework set by society. Step out of the bilge and onto the deck.
I like the author's true feelings. At the same time, I was released and liberated from things that I couldn't understand when I was a child [I almost cried]
I really hope all girls can read this book. It is very touching.
The words are meaningful and realistic. The author is a wise man who truly sees through human nature, has ideas, and has an IQ higher than the average person.
Easier to read than Chizuru Ueshima's book! The writing is easy to understand, and there are many things that I had not discovered before. It suddenly became clear to me!
Introduction to feminism, perfect score 💯
Not bad. Very touching. Ai[cry][cry][cry]
Easy to understand voice
As if I saw myself
Every sentence is like a knife. I understand many things in the past. It doesn't have to be applied to parent-child relationships. There are many similar things in life.
When I came across this book for the first time, I didn't expect that it would have been published in the past few years. It's 2024 now, and it's hard to imagine how many women have awakened at that time. Looking at the structure of men and women in the world from the author's perspective did give me a different idea. I had a feeling of enlightenment and confusion, but this seems to be explainable, because long-term female discrimination has penetrated into our culture and customs, making us so accustomed to it that it is not a kind of discrimination.
Some people read the story, and some people look in the mirror. I feel relieved now, very good book. It's very beautiful and has a strong sense of immersion. But this book ripped away the fig leaf so straightforwardly that it made me feel powerless. What a strong book, the content is still strong even after 20 years. Thank you so much.
This is a great book. I recommend all girls to read it. For those things in life that feel uncomfortable but can't explain why, and that once suspected that they were too sensitive, the reasons and specific examples can be found in it. Many examples are really in line with the current situation of East Asian countries and help us once again realize what feminism is and what is our own feminism!
After reading it, I became more aware of the status of women. Women have been fighting for their rights since ancient times. The female predecessors in the past woke up because of their misfortune and humbleness. They were discriminated against and disrespected by men. Because of their laws, there have been some changes, and women have gradually gained status and dignity. However, until now, the word equality between men and women still has more slogans and less implementation. Women should pay more attention to themselves, improve themselves, make themselves valuable, and stop sacrificing themselves like women in ancient times and feel that they are great. Each of us puts ourselves first before everyone else. Anyway, you must have your own thoughts, not be influenced by others, and live out your own value. Only a woman has value, not the reproductive value defined by her own society. She should have her own value and her own personality.
Thank you very much for having such a beautiful book, it is very helpful to me. Wow, there are 47 underlines... It is a book worth reading again. It has been more than 20 years since this book is still out of date. It would be great if more people read this book and would be reminded of Beauvoir's The Second Sex. There are so many things worth pondering and many insights... Being like a grassroots woman gives me a lot of strength, and about women's awakening... Of course... You don't have to wake up. You can sleep if you want, it should be absolutely free. If I want to get married and have children in the future... I hope I can control myself... And don't put so many restrictions on my partner and children. I hope I can read more books and gain more insights. Thanks to the efforts of my ancestors, I can read books [crying] It feels so much [crying] It's great. Tomato has so many books to read. It's so fulfilling.
I have some foundation in feminism, but I only read bits and pieces on the Internet, and I am vaguely afraid of more in-depth analysis. Although it is avant-garde enough and I can discuss it with my sisters, some issues do easily confuse me. For example, some sisters who are also feminists will have excessive expectations for feminism, have more moral requirements for women, and require feminists to care for the elderly, children, housewives, and even men. And there are moral judgments on some women in high positions, thinking that their actions are not in line with the kindness and gentleness of feminism. This often troubles me. Is this a restraint on women? Today this question has been answered here. The ultimate goal of feminism will lead to a better and more equal society, but we are like developing countries, which are not yet able to take into account the pollution caused by the development process and provide some humanitarian relief. However, developed countries have completed the bloody accumulation of capital, but require us to slow down or even make a turn in order to protect the environment. Then our development will be dragged down or even swayed. In any case, even if female capitalists oppress the bottom class, it is a better choice than male capitalists oppressing everyone while further oppressing women. Although we do not necessarily have to follow this path, we must also recognize the allies who may be walking on the road together.
"The top priority here is "I", not feminism; it is not "I" who implement feminism, but feminism is useful to "me", so I use it." This passage is one of my favorite excerpts in the entire book. Feminism is important, but the ultimate proposition is to return to women themselves.
I didn't expect that this was feminism thirty years ago! It's still so shocking, which shows that today's society is still very backward after more than 30 years! The analysis is profound and comprehensive! Great book! ! !
Please always hold the right to choose your life in your own hands. Any other seemingly simple measures will reduce yourself to a pet. The control rights of pets always fluctuate between the moods of their owners. "When we understand feminism, we understand that women are one. We become each other's sisters simply by being women. The most touching moments are the moments when we realize we are connected in the timeline."
It was very immersive to read this book, because the content of this book really gives women a lot to think about. You may understand a lot after reading this book. It may not be able to help you make changes in your life immediately, or help you get out of trouble immediately, but it can guide you, pursue yourself, and ultimately find a path of your own.
This book is still dazzling when I read it now in 2025. As a woman, the self-perception of gender that I have always been confused about has been solved. Well worth reading. Especially female friends will definitely have a change in their self-perception after reading this book. The author described in the editor's note, I think is very good and I like that kind of woman: "Ms. Tajima Yoko, who is in her seventies, is not arrogant, looks the same, has a sense of humor, and exudes sunshine energy. She is not only talkative, but also good at listening. She is not rigid at all. When she encounters young people's words that she does not understand, she will ask very frankly: "What does that mean? "The youthfulness of her spiritual world is also reflected in her appearance. Her posture is upright, her steps are light and cheerful, her colorful clothes set off her temperament, and her whole person is radiant. To describe it in one sentence, she is a person who makes people feel very comfortable." The author has lived up to the excellent female image she wants to be in her writing.
Women are inherently strong and excellent
I was very lucky to read this book. At first, I didn't want to read it because it was written by a Japanese author because of the different cultural era. But after reading it, I found that the plight of women described by the author is actually not much different from ours. It is a very good book.
I feel more deeply that women need to be independent, spiritually self-reliant, break those external social disciplines first, and then be financially self-reliant.
Hits the point, and the metaphor of the boat helps to understand [Like]
The language is concise, the examples are appropriate, and the essence of the problem is sharply pointed out. It is suitable for every reader who is not arrogant and is sincerely willing to see the most cruel and possible side of the world.
It is not easy to be able to explain complex things clearly in simple language and use vivid metaphors so that everyone can understand the meaning of the article.
Every woman should read this book, which is comparable to the "Tao Te Ching" and represents the morality of being a woman.
The media of the male gaze is male-oriented media.
I hope that I can step out of my surroundings, myself, and the framework set by society. Step out of the bilge and onto the deck.
I like the author's true feelings. At the same time, I was released and liberated from things that I couldn't understand when I was a child [I almost cried]
I really hope all girls can read this book. It is very touching.
The words are meaningful and realistic. The author is a wise man who truly sees through human nature, has ideas, and has an IQ higher than the average person.
Easier to read than Chizuru Ueshima's book! The writing is easy to understand, and there are many things that I had not discovered before. It suddenly became clear to me!
Introduction to feminism, perfect score 💯
Not bad. Very touching. Ai[cry][cry][cry]
Easy to understand voice
As if I saw myself
Every sentence is like a knife. I understand many things in the past. It doesn't have to be applied to parent-child relationships. There are many similar things in life.
[Smile] Female power needs to be taken seriously.