The Realities of Marriage in Middle Age

After twenty years of what she believed was a peaceful, happy marriage, Chen Lan thought she could finally catch her breath. Her eldest son had finished the college entrance exams and was preparing to start university, while her younger daughter was about to enter primary school. Then, during a sweltering summer vacation, her husband, Li Yunpei, gave her a brutal lesson in marriage.

The two of them were often apart, each busy working for their little family. At home, Chen Lan took on the roles of both parents as she cared for their two children. She rarely complained to her husband about the many things that needed doing, and often made decisions about household matters without discussing them with him first, figuring she could simply tell him afterward. In the end, this pattern damaged their marriage. Her husband said they were incompatible and that he felt stifled, and asked to live apart.

For an ordinary woman like Chen Lan, hearing those words made no sense. She wanted to understand why the kind of plot she had seen in novels and TV dramas was happening in her own life. Along the way, she learned and changed a great deal. A marriage takes work, and the two people in it need to communicate regularly if they want their life together to stay vibrant and strong.