Mushoku Tensei: Beginning with Dimensional Slash

Some suggestions: 1. The beginning overlaps too much with the jobless plot, which makes some readers (including me) a little uncomfortable (it's almost not the original plot, so I have to endure it). I think it's best to refer to the original work to make differences (but after writing it all here, making a major change is probably equivalent to a rewrite) 2. I hope that the earth plot will not take up too much space (I don't like it personally, it feels a bit dramatic), and there won't be too many time travelers (it's best to only have this one, don't have time travelers everywhere) 3. There can be more scientific principles and experiments, which is more in line with taste (it seems to also cater to the taste of many readers) Summary: There are few first-person narrative works that suit my taste. The combination of science and magic is very good, but I personally feel that the plot is too conventional, covering up the originality (after all, I read the fan fiction, so I can't just change the story). I personally think the early original content is good, but it's hard to comment on the rest.

A message for my brothers in the Eighth Legion Dear author Today is the traditional Nostramo festival "Mouse Skinning Day". At this joyful and grand moment, all the Night Lords' war gangs held a lottery, and you are very lucky to win! We have carefully prepared generous prizes for you. After seeing this message, please reply to me with the coordinates of your planet and the deployment of surrounding defense forces. We will deliver the prizes to you quietly and politely. Sincerely, the gentle and friendly Night Lords

Author Niubi 👍, the world view structure of this book is much better than the original work. This is a true genius' journey through time. From the beginning, it should be regarded as a hard-core and refreshing article. I don't know what will happen next.

The author adds a certain degree of scientific explanation to the magical worldview, adding a lot of interest without affecting the overall look and feel (eyes brighten) At the same time, some characters and settings of the original work have been modified to make the plot less tortuous than the original work (the cost of the semi-invincible flow is to sacrifice part of the sense of substitution and authenticity) Although the portrayal of the characters is not perfect, it can still be said to be a master of the art (it's bad! Just practice more!) At present, it seems that the setting of the power system has a risk of collapse in the middle and late stages, but it is not too big. It mainly depends on the author's writing style, the logic of the article, the connection of the plot, and the characterization of the characters. Moreover, this novel only has 100,000 words, so I'm not sure what will happen next, but overall it's very good.

The understanding of magic in the jobless world is very logical and interesting. The first volume is very good, no faults to fault. However, the fusion of dual world views and the development of science fiction are very blunt (to me), although the author has a very rich knowledge of physics. But I feel that your current expression and description skills are not enough to support you in writing such a large world view. It can be seen that the science fiction part draws on many works, but when a purely rational world of science and technology collides with a magical world full of imagination, ambiguity and destruction will inevitably follow. I love watching Sword and Sorcery, but I can't bear to see people being killed. So I won't be able to watch it later. I hope the author can see it and communicate with you.

"My Study of the Nature of Magic in a Jobless Reincarnation" would be a more appropriate title for this book. At present, the protagonist's understanding of magic is beyond the world, and the content is a bit hardcore. At the same time, it has a lot of highlights and worldview settings. It was very interesting to read the whole time, but the author was too busy, and it was uncomfortable to watch it intermittently even if it wasn't happening.

Tomato is a rare hardcore fanfic, and it still has a world view of swords and magic. It's very interesting to write. It doesn't matter even if you haven't read the original work. I have read a little bit, and I think it's good.

It's a pity that the early stage was very interesting, but later on the author probably became Carvin. Another new traveler on the earth, another one with helium flash Learn from the original work and create a "human god"

I really like this feeling of rationalizing everything. At least so far, I personally still like it. I don't have any additional suggestions. I hope the author will continue to maintain it.

There is no system, no formulas, a lot of private settings, and the logic is self-consistent. It can be seen that the author has his own ideas, it will not make people embarrassed, and it is interesting enough. It is already rare 👍