High Emotional Value

I originally thought that I was already a person with relatively high emotional value, but after reading this, I discovered that I have so many shortcomings. 1. When someone expresses to you the negative emotions caused by other people, you should first agree with his emotions, then change the perspective and ask questions to let him come out of the original negative area, and then compare and affirm his advantages. 2 This is the most important point in my opinion. Why do couples easily quarrel? That is when one party asks the other party why they do something, and the other party says, don't you do the same thing? Don't seek death like this. This is pitting emotion against emotion. Just answer truthfully. 3 Maintain a sense of security in mysterious crises 4. Showing weakness and acting coquettishly to the other party is actually very effective. Don't be too hard-spoken to lose face. 5. When someone expresses positive emotions to you, ask him about his hard work, then make comparisons to highlight his good qualities, and finally express your own feelings. 6. When someone talks to you and you give a literal answer, you should also analyze his emotions when he said it and think about what he needs you to understand at the moment. 7. When praising, don't just say a simple sentence. Add feelings, facts, and comparisons. Don't be too exaggerated. Be sincere. 8. Emotions are fluid. When others share happiness with you, your feedback should be enthusiastic. Don't just say that you don't know what to say. If you don't know, just learn and read more. Arouse emotions, play hard to get, make comparisons, and then let him start the sharing topic 9 This point is also very important, that is, someone has carefully prepared a gift for you. Even if you don't like it in your heart, you can't show it directly. Instead, you should express that you like it very much, but you prefer another type, and you want something else next time. If you directly say that you don't like something, it will hurt the other person's heart. As a result, he will not prepare other gifts in the future because he will not get positive feedback. 10. It is also important to seek help from the other party in relationships.

A very practical book, it is a breath of fresh air among best-sellers. It contains a lot of practical knowledge and various practical exercises. If you follow it, read it several times, think more and understand more, we will greatly improve our communication and expression.

How to improve your emotional intelligence is summarized as follows (1) Praise others sincerely. Most of us can only see the shortcomings in others, and it is difficult to see the advantages in others. It's not that others don't have merit, it's that we don't have the eyes to discover the merits of others. We blame someone for something bad just to highlight ourselves. Subconsciously, paying attention to yourself is much more important than paying attention to others. Praise formula: feelings + facts + comparison. ☆Praising events is more sincere than praising people ☆First recognize and praise the good side of the other person, and then put forward your own suggestions and hopes. ☆It is better to ask the other person for help than deliberately trying to please someone. The best way to get others to like you is not to help them, but to let them help you. After a person first behaves in a certain way, his attitude will change accordingly. Attitude is not the cause of behavior, but the subsequent explanation of behavior. Therefore, if you want to change the other person's attitude towards you, the first thing you have to do is to get him to take action. Through the other person's specific giving behaviors, you can trigger a gradual change in his attitude towards you, thereby quickly bringing you closer. (Ask for help on what the other party is good at and has a certain degree of difficulty) (2) Transform negative emotions. The formula for transforming negative emotions: identifying with emotions + asking questions from different angles + contrasting affirmations. ☆Recognize emotions: You need to identify with the other person's current emotions and make the other person feel that you understand them. ☆Ask questions from a different angle: Don't let the other person be immersed in the mood of complaining. Everything has many sides. You have to ask questions from a different angle and let the other person think for themselves. You don't need to tell the other person anything, you just need to ask questions from a different angle and let the other person find the answer in the question. ☆Contrast affirmation: Any form of affirmation will appear a bit fake if it appears alone. Therefore, we use comparative affirmation to affirm the goodness of others in comparison, which also provides a complete chain of evidence for this goodness. Only then will your affirmations be effective. (3) Use facts to match emotions. When he treats you with emotions, you respond to him with facts. Bad emotions are contagious and superimposed, so you cannot use bad emotions to deal with bad emotions. (4) Change the topic or topic person. When a relative or friend embarrasses you in public, you can pretend to ask for help from the person in question, and then tactfully express your appeal after distracting the person in question. Or just change the topic. When an opponent embarrasses you in public, you can retaliate with the same topic. (5) Listen carefully to what others have to say. Reply using the formula of [effort + comparison + feeling] to stimulate others' desire to share and trust. (6) Listen carefully to the demands of others. Eliminate existing perceptions, keep the bottle empty at all times, and listen to what the other person is saying. Mindset: Use established and inherent cognition to deal with the complex and ever-changing world. Listening on three levels: ☆Fact: The first level is self-centered listening, which seems to be listening to the other party, but in fact does not pay attention to the other party and only expresses one's own opinions and standards. ☆ Emotion: The second level is to put the other party as the center, maintain a neutral, curious, concerned, respectful attitude or feeling, and provide timely feedback and summary when communicating with the other party. ☆Demand: The third level is deep listening, listening to the other party's needs, values ​​and motivations, hearing the other party's inner voice through the appearance of behavior, and judging what the other party really wants through the information expressed by the other party. (7) Express love, respond to love and guide love. If you love someone, you must express it promptly. Love that is not reciprocated will gradually alienate the person. When you love someone, express your love and guide the other person to express your love. (8) Only with an optimistic attitude can you see the good side of things. "There is nothing outside your heart": There is no world outside your heart. The world is built by you. In fact, this world is just a display. Whatever your heart looks like, the world you see will look like. (9) Empathy. People have social attributes. We long to be cared for and cared for by more people, and we don't like to be blamed or criticized. Even if we do something wrong, we hope that the other person will understand. Empathy is letting the other person feel your understanding and love for him or her. (10) Use the emotional flow formula of "mobilizing emotions + contrast + guiding the topic" to let the other party share things. ☆Arouse his emotions through push and pull, making him want to prove himself more. ☆Amplify his emotion through contrast. ☆Guide him to describe the process, let him carefully recall the process of hard work, share the previous difficult process, and be more sure of himself.

The explanations are very good, very objective and practical, and are explained with many real-life cases. It is easy to understand. After reading it, I found that a lot of the content is closely related to my own life, and some of the things I have encountered. Whether when getting along with friends or with my family, I have really made some mistakes without knowing it. I recommend reading it to friends who are interested. You can really learn a lot about how to deal with people in reality and how to provide high-value emotions. It is really useful.

(♥∀♥) I have gained a lot of knowledge. There are only a few good books, not boring, and more interesting than other similar books. I hope the author will have more good works [sending my heart][sending my heart][sending my heart][sending my heart][sending my heart][sending my heart]

The content is thorough and the analysis is very straightforward and easy for people to understand. It is easier to understand than other books of the same type. I highly recommend everyone to read it to improve your emotional intelligence and yourself. I hope the author will continue to create excellent works👍🏻

This book has many specific methods and examples to teach us how to face our own emotions or the emotions of others. How to effectively solve problems and avoid ineffective communication. I think there is a slight flaw in this book: it uses gender to limit specific character traits. In fact, personality traits are more related to environmental factors such as growth experience, rather than chromosomes. You can use "what kind of personality characteristics does so-and-so have" or "some people just think so...", But there is no need to use large groups such as boys or girls to explain a certain behavior in a simple and crude way.

A very good book. It contains a lot of knowledge points and cases. It is very thorough and professional. I am so happy to read this book.

I really learned something, and the formula is easy to understand. However, some of the author's examples are quite awkward to explain in reality. However, the formula does provide directions and can draw inferences. I would like to give you a good review and encouragement.

I'm afraid I'm too clumsy and not good at expressing love

According to the test in the book, I found that I can provide emotional value, but it is unstable. Indeed, in real life, I also feel that I sometimes feel disappointed when faced with some things. There are also some specific methods in this book that can be learned and corrected, which are very practical.

I learned something. Many of the cases in this book are about how women provide emotional value to others. There is no male perspective, but it also opened up blind spots for me.

As the book says, different learning methods lead to different learning effects. I think the "do me" learning method is very interesting and allows us to better deal with emotions. Moreover, this book is easy to understand and easy to read. I recommend you read it too!

A very good book that made me realize the charm of voice.

The whole book is based on the woman's thinking. Boys can learn from it, but many of them cannot be used in actual communication with girlfriends. After all, girlfriends may be more changeable [face covering]

There are some points in the book that I don't think are right, but I can't put my finger on it, especially some of the conversations between husband and wife.

It's very good. Many of the things I said are very realistic and useful. But I hope you can give more examples. It will get better and better.

This book has a novel perspective and you will gain something from reading it carefully.

A book worth reviewing, which is helpful for interpersonal communication.

The writing is quite good and requires more practice in daily life.

It's great to read, I learned a lot, and I'm looking forward to the author's later works [laughs]

The content of the book is easy to understand, and it simply and clearly explains the importance of emotional value in today's society. It is full of useful information and is worth reading.

I think it is super practical, thank the author for sharing

It should be quite helpful for people who are in love or married. There are also social networking opportunities in the workplace. Overall, it's pretty good.

Old maps never go to new places, it's time for us to make some changes.

There are many perspectives that I have never seen before, and I feel like I have learned new knowledge.

I know that I have low emotional intelligence, but I have a desire to do everything for the people I like and those who treat me well, but I don't know how to express it. I feel that I have learned something, so I should read more and practice my heart.

It's pretty good, but it's a bit lacking. I feel like I haven't learned enough.

I am so lucky to read the content of this book. The author who wrote this book must be a genius! ! ! I will practice the theoretical knowledge in this book well hehe

I learned two very useful points: 1. Asking others to do small favors can build a relationship with the other person faster. 2. When people want to show off, they are more willing to share their experiences and hard work.