I Really Am Devoted to Cultivating Immortality

[Please don't get your hopes up. All I can write is a steaming pile of crap.] [Lighthearted, no angst] [Absolutely no logic] [Unhinged] [Giving up] [Trying hard] [Breaking down] These things alternate. The protagonist's brain keeps short-circuiting, and their intelligence swings wildly. Living is fine, dying is fine too. An inconsistent performer. (I'm just writing for fun and letting myself go. It might be a tiny bit abstract...)