Douluo Dalu: Reborn as a Soul Beast

The subject matter is pretty good, but it's still a bit sparse now, and the plot of Axiang and the snake-catching village accounts for too much. If you didn't use the first person, I wouldn't even know whether the protagonist is a dragon or Axiang. Are you writing like this to be like the mythical beast of the clan? If not, I can only say that we will transition this plot as soon as possible. , Because it makes no sense, the protagonist has not grown in any strength during this period (it doesn't make any difference if he grows up or not), and you write about other people in the first person (because you are not a group portrait article, writing in the first person is awkward for others, and they don't necessarily revolve around the protagonist. Even if you reduce the plot of other people in the eyes of the protagonist, it would be good, but your plot is capturing The plot of Snake Village and the plot of A Xiang going to school are completely described like a bystander. If you hadn't said that he was the protagonist, I would have thought that the protagonist was that A Xiang). It's not interesting to see the protagonist like a bystander. I came to see the protagonist, not a passerby, and I am an original passerby (mainly because this plot currently takes too long). The protagonist is a soul beast, and the relationship between soul beasts and humans is clear to those who have watched Douluo. Don't write so many plots that have too deep contact with humans. Even if you were a human before (you said that the protagonist is approaching snakes), you can't want the protagonist to be Xiao Wu A Yin, or people like the Silver Dragon King and those soul beast traitors (after all, there is nothing good to say about Love Brain Continent). If you want to write better, try to keep the first-person focus on the protagonist, rather than flying around here and there (referring to the plot of Chapter 54). You can't write every character in the first person, and you can also draw a dividing line when changing characters.

And I was quietly hiding in Wang Mang's sleeves, watching Axiang with worry, fearing that something might happen to her again. At this time, Axiang seemed to notice my gaze. He slowly turned his head, his eyes revealing a gentleness and tenacity. She gently touched my head and raised the corners of her mouth slightly, revealing a reassuring smile. However, just when I breathed a sigh of relief, something unexpected happened - Axiang suddenly closed his eyes tightly, his body fell softly to the side, and fell into a coma! "Ah!" I exclaimed and stuck my head out, my heart filled with worry and fear. Was this head-touching done by Wang Mang? Feel it in your sleeve????????? A bit 6

How can I put it, the first person is uncomfortable to read. It would be better if it is changed to animation and comics, but not so much in novels. In addition, when is Douluo this book?

Overall it's pretty good. Score a score by the way.

Compared with Tomato's other Douluo fanfics, it's okay.

First person is not good

Average but not too bad

Good potential

I am more interested in the plot setting, but the protagonist is indeed a bit weak now, and I can only follow the development of the plot from the perspective of a bystander. I don't know when the protagonist will be involved in the plot.