I Glanced at the Audience, and Got Sentenced to Three Years

Is it illegal to trick a woman from Sakura Country into sleeping with you using ghost money? The verdict: “It’s not illegal.” A man was tricked into marriage, swindled out of his relocation compensation, and cheated on. None of the three sons were even his, yet the other side’s lawyer argued that they were innocent. Lawyer Zhang adjusted his glasses and smirked. In the final verdict, not only did the opposing lawyer get sent to prison, but everyone in the audience who had so much as glanced at Lawyer Zhang was also sentenced to three years. Wrongfully accused of secretly taking photos on the subway, then exposed, but still found innocent? The verdict: “Life imprisonment, minimum.” A woman commits a crime, then claims, “I have depression. You can’t convict me.” Lawyer Zhang smirked. The woman was sentenced to at least three years. A bank in Sakura Country was robbed. The other side’s lawyer: “The defendant robbed a vast sum of money and killed several people from Sakura Country. We request the death penalty.” Lawyer Zhang: “No, he’s innocent. The plaintiff is making false accusations. I request three hundred million in emotional damages for my client.” The verdict: “There is insufficient evidence of robbery, and no robbery occurred. The defendant is acquitted. The plaintiff must also pay the defendant three hundred million in emotional damages.” A trademark infringement case. The lawyer from Sakura Country: “Our trademark shows a black silhouette playing soccer, while the defendant’s shows a white silhouette playing soccer. They are identical except for the color, so this constitutes trademark infringement.” Lawyer Zhang: “No. My client isn’t kicking a soccer ball. He’s kicking a globe.”