Global: Open the System Shop, I Want to Buy Cheats

All professions for everyone + leveling up + showing off and face-slapping, with revenge on the villains + mythology revival + hilarious skills and absurd crossover gags + reborn and starting over (This story uses a leveling-up format. Buying cheats means you can freely purchase any conceptual skill. Once the protagonist activates his cheat, he's invincible among those at the same level, but not absolutely invincible: he still has to advance step by step. The first four chapters are comedic; the cheat kicks in from Chapter Five. Please read with that in mind.) A System from the start, and all my powers come from shopping. You can be geniuses. I'll buy my cheats. Spiritual qi revival, everyone gets a profession, but I have no talent or connections. With a start this disastrous, how am I supposed to play? I'm done playing! Open the System Shop. I'm buying cheats! … Congratulations, Host! You have changed profession to Shadow Demon Lord and successfully bound the “Go Get 'Em” System! Revenge, showing off, face-slapping (which can be taken literally): all the satisfying moments earn points. Points can be spent in the System Shop on skills, medicine, magical weapons, houses, money… “What, you really want to buy the socks worn by a succubus?” “Oh my God, buy them!” History won't repeat itself, and it's never too late to show off. I've transmigrated. Who's going to put up with this kind of crap? So what if I got a disastrous start? You all go work hard to level up. I'm activating my cheat first!