The First Book of Xian Tianzun

After reading it, the writing is pretty good. The plot is based on the template of having a girlfriend at home, so this is not a big problem. However, it is recommended that the author paint the characters, the environment and the character's demeanor in depth. The mistakes that TV series comics often make are that the plot is too fast, the characters are not fleshed out enough, and TV series intervenes too much, resulting in the last batch of female protagonists being too bloated. TV series are actually not bad dramas. Love, after all, the main plot is an open book. What is missing is how to deeply portray the individual female protagonists in a certain favorite comic and even restore 120% of the emotions. This involves the environment, tone, demeanor, clothing, dialogue between the male and female protagonists, supporting roles and a specific plot. Climax and other in-depth characterizations, otherwise it is just a series of miscellaneous accounts and bad female protagonists, without any foreshadowing or in-depth characterization. In the end, 90% of the readers who read it felt that she was the woman who became the male protagonist inexplicably. Anyway, the feeling is as simple as drinking water. Be sure to post it Only by making in-depth depictions based on reality and revising some of the novels' ambiguities can we have a chance to attract people's attention. After all, no matter what series of novels, people read them because of their ambiguity. For example, this is a big reason why anime or live-action remakes of novels are so popular. The Tachibana sisters are actually very popular in the Japanese series, and the plot is also very complete. We can focus on writing about these two people. We really don't need too many female protagonists. After all, you are not a fairy with a physique. If you can't handle so many women, it will become a waste of time. I hope the author will consider this comment sincerely. Others are very good. Perhaps what I mean by in-depth characterization can be given as an example: the adoption of the Orange sisters during the funeral in Chapter 5. The funeral should be sad and painful. In the setting, the two parents have just passed away. There is a younger sister in high school and an elder sister who has just graduated from college. According to reality, they are actually children. , Facing a sudden blow, the mood and mind should be desperate, painful, empty-eyed, and even the feeling of being forced into desperation, but in the portrayal, it is just an understatement and excessive. As the older sister, Hina can still answer and deal with Ryu rationally. Sister Yi's question here is actually a bit unrealistic. Logically, this paragraph should reflect the sad and heavy atmosphere and environment, and then depict the perspective of the protagonist or the perspective of the Orange sisters to write down the inner world of activities, with relatives and friends around. After commenting and comforting friends and others, and finally writing down the protagonist's feelings during the scene, the scene will be very profound, and the heroine's character and characterization will also be revealed. In this way, the overall sense will be more vivid than understatement and an overly scrawled sentence.

The protagonist is not like a reborn person, and there are many female protagonists in all anime, so everyone does not have many roles, not many and not outstanding. It feels very bland. Personally, I feel a bit boring. Of course, I like to watch bland movies. I didn't say that.

Looking at the comments, many people are talking about what happened between the hero and Hanabi in the first few chapters. So I want to tell readers who come in to read in the future that if they can accept the first three chapters, then there will basically be no problems later [crying] Thank you everyone🙏 I've entered the dark room, and I've changed a lot of content. If there are new book friends who feel it's not smooth when reading it, please understand! [Cry][cry] Thank you everyone, I hope you can release it to me soon. [Almost crying]

To be honest, there are some flaws in the front, such as the overused plot, the male protagonist being indecisive and constantly thinking about this and that, too many new characters appearing, and the previous characters' emotions were not dealt with and added after several chapters. Goldfinger has no system, strengthening the memory and body as a plug-in, and making money by following the route of making money from novels and comics. The most important point is that the male protagonist knew some anime in his previous life, but only heard about it, which may not be comfortable enough. There are only a few characters who have appeared so far. To be honest, it is no different from watching aboriginals. The number of chapters is a bit small at the moment. I will add more later. There are many problems, but there is also a lot of room for maneuver. This is why I keep reading. After all, this is one of the few comprehensive comics in Tomato that has decent writing [laughing]

The writing is good, but I don't like the Japanese character of the protagonist, and he doesn't look like a reborn at all [rolls eyes]

1. The protagonist has no system and is an ordinary person. 2. The protagonist has no ability to change everything 3. Multiple ambiguous objects 4. Bloody family relationships 5. Enter the prison cell of the service department [cover face][OK]

Although, it's been 16 years since time traveled, and it feels like the protagonist's family is not very wealthy? At least there should be a certain route. A complete harem relationship is not impossible. At least there must be some financial foundation.

A very good novel, worth reading. The author is very good both in terms of writing and characters. I am reading it. The plot of the fan novel is okay, but the characters are not very good. But this book is really good. The author continues to work hard and update it.

This book is really beautiful. When I first wrote it, I wondered if the original author had gone to China to write it.

I can only say that the writing in the middle part is very messy, and the behavior and personality of several characters are deviated. Moreover, I feel that the protagonist's personality is different from the one at the beginning. It's not something that changes over time, but a fundamental difference.