[Two male leads + campus + childhood friends and unexpected newcomer + bad ending + one-sided love for a straight man]
Dark, self-loathing, and with a hidden side, the top; “sunny,” melancholic, and emotionally tangled, the bottom
At eighteen, he gouged out one eye, and the other fell into a deep, endless sleep.
*
When Xi Xu was young, the new nanny his family hired had a bright, adorable son named Ji Yan.
Xi Xu already had an extreme temperament. All he knew was that he needed Ji Yan, saw him as his alone, and even made him swear he would stay by his side for the rest of his life.
But one day, while they were playing hide-and-seek, Xi Xu’s older brother deliberately locked him in a cabinet. Aggravated by his claustrophobia, Xi Xu seemed to go mad. He pinned his brother beneath him and punched him again and again, nearly blinding him in his left eye.
Afterward, his brother deliberately provoked him, making up a story that Ji Yan, who had hurriedly left with his mother because of trouble at home, had left because he was afraid of Xi Xu like that.
Xi Xu was utterly heartbroken. Believing he had been abandoned by the only person in the world he cared about, he agreed to his parents’ plans and went abroad.
When Xi Xu returned, he was only twelve, but his temperament had become much steadier. He was first in his grade throughout middle school, then deliberately flunked the high school entrance exams and went to a vocational school in a remote mountain village.
They had no contact during his three years at vocational school, and only got in touch during his final semester.
On the surface, Ji Yan’s personality seemed just like it had been when they were children: lively and cheerful, sometimes even a little foolish. But this was all a persona he had built for himself. The real Ji Yan had been worn down by his family’s troubles, leaving him emotionally tangled and sensitive.
Xi Xu pretended to be aloof, deliberately kept his distance, concealed their past, and used sly seduction. Just as he finally realized his feelings for Ji Yan, he learned that Ji Yan had a girlfriend. He had meant to follow the selfless view of love he’d read about in books and hide his true feelings.
But his love only grew stronger, and everything began heading in an uncontrollable direction.
Why be? Who is Ji Yan with?