The Human Guide to Sober Love

I never like to write reviews with punctuation, but I couldn't help but feel comfortable with this book. At first, because the author is a boy, I was worried that the author would defend men. I didn't expect that he would explain the problem completely objectively and give solutions while understanding women's thinking. It is very practical and full of useful information. I have had low self-esteem and sensitivity since I was a child. I always put my emotions on my partner, constantly asking him to give emotional value, crushing him. There is a sentence in the book: Two happy people are running towards a happier future. Rather than a lost person looking for a happy person to make amends for himself

Many of the cases mentioned in the book helped me make some improvements in my love life. His suggestions and analysis are practical. It is very useful to apply between friends and lovers. It is really suitable for people who have a love brain or who are very dependent on their partners to read this book, learn the methods in it, and seriously analyze their own feelings. Overall it's a very good book and a book worth reading.

It's a great book. It covers most of the problems I had with my ex. I regret not reading it earlier. I've benefited a lot.

It is very practical. I regret not reading this book sooner. I feel that reading it once is not enough and I have to read it many times. It can be used not only in love, but also in getting along with family, colleagues, and friends, and even in getting to know yourself.

It's very good. Many of the techniques in the book are very applicable to intimate relationships. I highly recommend this book. I have practiced some of the points in the book in my life, and it has indeed brought about different changes. The two people get along more harmoniously.

A very good book that mainly talks about how to maintain an intimate relationship. Many of the ways and angles in the book that look at problems are unique. It does not give out those cliche suggestions in a cookie-cutter manner, but analyzes them from the perspective of deep-seated factors such as the roots of human nature and emotional development. Every time I read a chapter, it feels like I have experienced a warm and profound spiritual dialogue. In a fast-paced and impetuous life, you might as well calm down and listen to the voice of this book, and then re-examine your emotional life with these insights, so as to move towards a more harmonious and happy intimate journey.

Sober love does not rely on the results of the use of methods and skills, but on a clear understanding of one's own status and needs. Before the ambiguity, you knew why you wanted to fall in love. Was it because you had more desires? A little more lonely? Or share the world more? What can you currently provide? What can be shown? What does the goal require? When you are ambiguous, you should accurately judge the degree of compatibility between the other party and yourself, and stop your losses in time. You will neither lick the dog because of appearance nor become obsessed with availability. When you are in love, the supply of materials and emotions is stable, you don't have to worry about yourself, you see the real person, you accept the fluidity of the relationship, and it also solves many problems that arise from the changes in the details and needs of the two parties over time. As for marriage, there is no need to say much about letting it take its course, but if it is only suitable for love and not marriage, and the needs do not match, it is also a good result to separate in time. The marketability of love is as unexplainable as society. When people talk about love, they talk about the right people at the right time and place, the fate that is destined by nature, and the love at first sight that lasts forever. They never mention the comprehensive considerations of appearance, power, wealth, and personality of both parties. This is the same as the chain of interests on which human feelings and sophistication depend. It can be done but cannot be said. Love in the commodity economy seems to be freer and more in line with human nature than love in the small-scale peasant economy, but it is still the result of maximizing reproductive gains under the individual's own economic and political resources, and is essentially the same. Closer to home, it is naturally better to deal with the symptoms after knowing your own needs than to seek medical treatment indiscriminately for sudden illness and treating love as a panacea. However, a clear understanding of one's own status and needs is the result of practice, not mental deduction. Before having relevant experience, it is easy for people to misjudge their own needs and status; and without relevant experience, it is easy to misjudge the needs and status of others. However, sufficient relevant experience cannot be said to be foolproof, and Waterloo is not an isolated case when encountering a black swan. In the end, it's nothing more than this: If you don't gamble, you won't lose, but if you gamble, you have to admit defeat.

Interpret and explain the emotional problems of attachment personality such as emotional internal friction, insecurity, over-dependence and so on in the relationship between the sexes. If two people can be together for a long time, don't rely on them, but rely on them. Don't entrust yourself to anyone. You can only be responsible for your own emotions. Love is complicated, we should live in fate, not in any relationship. I don't expect anyone to do what I imagine according to my own wishes, nor do I ask for anything. Love yourself well and let your 100% self meet another person who can bring you 20% happiness as the icing on the cake in life. Even if we leave, we will still be the 100% happy self.

It's a pretty good guide to love. I think the biggest gain is that love is also a process of self-understanding, a process of communication, and a process of going deep into reality. In this world, the only thing we can change and truly know is myself. Love yourself, stay true to yourself, and don't lose your original appearance to cater to others. You must know that others should like you and like you, not the self-perfect you you created.

It is very true and reliable. It can be used not only emotionally, but also in dealing with others. I think it has inspired me a lot. I think it will be of great benefit to learn to use the author's method to solve problems in life.

What impressed me most was this sentence: The normal logic should be "I am very good, do you want to get better with me", rather than "I am not good, do you want to make me get better". Don't rely on others to save yourself, work hard to make yourself better. Love should progress between two people. In the process, we will also have conflicts. Contradictions will always exist. We need to express ourselves and find a suitable way to solve them. Don't be afraid of contradictions. What's more important is to have the ability to solve problems. We often have subjective feelings. We can use "I see" to clarify the facts instead of using words such as "I think how you are doing". You can also put yourself in the other person's perspective and think about what he or she is expecting behind the behavior. Love will not be everything in our lives, we must have the ability to love ourselves. "I" is the subject. The more I invest in something, the more I want something in return, and the more "I" will love it, which may annoy the other person, leading to overly high expectations and subsequent disappointment. You must remain relatively independent and constantly improve yourself.

This book is suitable for more rational people, more mature love? It is also suitable for people entering marriage. Single people look at it and feel like they have been single forever. Once, I went out with my girlfriend, and she said casually: "It's so hot today, I'm sweating all over." After hearing this, I thought, was she blaming me? Do you blame me for forgetting to bring a small fan today? I even thought about whether I should go to a convenience store and buy a small fan for her. So when you are in love, you can't think too much, bring a small fan, a sun hat or buy an ice cream hhhh

The writing style of this book is very straightforward, and the writing style is simple and easy to understand, as friendly as chatting with friends. It does not have complicated theories, but uses simple words and real cases to give people a clearer understanding of love. It reminds me of the book "The Art of Loving". They both emphasize the importance of staying awake and yourself in love. This book is suitable for those who want to find direction in love and is worth reading.

Well, it's okay, because I have an anxious attachment style and the person I like has an avoidant attachment style. She makes me very anxious, and I don't want to keep clinging to her like this, but I am a bit obsessed, and this book can help calm me down. . . Yeah, I've benefited a lot

It's a very interesting book. I seem to find it interesting to review many books. Then I read some reviews of this book. I read some of the feedback from everyone, and they all basically gave 5 stars. There are too many reading talents in Tomato. The basic reading time of this book starts at one hour, and even more than 4 hours. It is very powerful. It feels like I have read this book in half an hour (cumulatively). I feel a bit like I have just glanced at it, and I feel that I don't have the ability to post this book review. For me, it is very simple to comment. But if you really want to talk about this book thoroughly, I believe that the half hour I read is not enough. Okay, okay, here is my evaluation of this book. In fact, it simply teaches us about love, letting us know the differences and changes in thinking between the sexes, and how we deal with some troubles or problems in love. I often encountered a misunderstanding before, that is, when I was in a relationship, I obviously didn't like them very much at the beginning, but when they chased me, I paid a lot, but I can't say what I paid. I don't know how to talk about it, and then later on , but they can pull away easily, but I feel that I cannot pull away so easily, and then I always recall those memories, and then become worried about gains and losses. But after I read the explanation in this book, this is losing yourself in love or feelings, which made me think about it carefully, and it seems that this is indeed the case. I am used to their proactive attitude towards me, and after we get together, I will proactively return the favor to them and spend more time and energy. As a result, I am really like a quagmire in this, sinking deeper and deeper, becoming more and more unable to extricate myself. In fact, I think the most important point of this book is: "You should take time out of your serious life to love others, rather than taking time out of your life to seriously love others." This is also the biggest and most important rule I learned in this book. I also give this to everyone. In fact, we encourage everyone together, so this book is very good.

The book is very good, but it's a pity that it won't be free later. It's a bit of a pity, but isn't regret the norm in life? It is indeed a good book. It not only taught me how to get along with my lover, but in fact, it taught me more about how to get along with myself. When you really need love, you can be alone with the person you like. I think there is a sentence in it that is particularly good. Real love is never a gift when it is timely, but also the icing on the cake. I hope you can get along well with yourself and have a good love at the same time. If not, at least you still have yourself.

This book has clear logic and novel and unique perspectives. It eliminates many bad ways of love and allows us to better understand ourselves and each other in love. It plays a positive role in building a real love relationship. We should not spend our love in the public opinion that "love should be like that", but in practice, look at our own love and polish our own "perfect sculpture" in love. We can run into each other and make ourselves and each other better people. Learn to tolerate, understand and accept. At the same time, we must also believe. Everything is the best arrangement

It's amazing. The author has an observant and gentle heart.

In today's era, the Internet is too developed. Many people are addicted to the Internet world. Many views on love on the Internet are relatively one-sided, but most people think it is very correct. They do not have their own thinking and their own views on love and values. This book made me realize that I believe too much in what is said on the Internet. I also realized many of the incorrect ideas I had in love in the past. I also understand my boyfriend better and understand that I need to have the ability to think independently. Internet information cannot just be accepted as right.

My partner and I are in a long-distance military relationship. Because we haven't seen each other for a long time, sometimes he doesn't have much time for me in a day when he is busy. I have more free time and tend to have random thoughts. I am often poisoned by some strange thoughts on the Internet. Inexplicably, I often feel that he does not love me and I force my thoughts on him. I have seen several factors mentioned in the book why relationships are not good, and it also talked to us about why we need to fall in love and how to fall in love well. After reading it, I feel that my thoughts have changed a lot, and the relationship has indeed become more harmonious.

The Human Guide to Sober Love - How to be a better version of yourself? -Reflect on whether your own emotional value is reasonable - Positive feedback, transformation from conscious awareness to subconscious mind - How to get rid of other people's slander? - Objective facts + rhetorical questions - How to get to know someone quickly? - How did you do it? - Why are you doing this? - How do you feel? - What should you do before getting married? - Understand the other person's true side - Had a big fight with the other person and resolved the issue - Go deep into the other person's family of origin and observe how the other person's parents get along. - If you marry the other person, what do you want your children to inherit from the other person? - How to get the other person to speak up? - Believe what the other person says - Just say your true thoughts and feelings - How to adjust? - Don't look down on the differences between the other person and yourself - Treat the other person as a foreigner - How to make a relationship good again? - Do one small thing after another to eliminate the other person's negative concept of you - How to maintain and enhance freshness? - Keep - Retain 30% of the mystery - More experiences with each other for the first time - Promotion - Unconventional process - Do things that couples wouldn't do together - role play - How to keep a mood diary? - Time and place - what triggers - reminds me of something - How do I feel? - What do i want to do - what i did - What's the result? - Golden phrases - "No one can take 100% responsibility for your life" - "Don't live as your partner's parent" - "True love is two good people running towards a better future, rather than a good person finding a bad person to be with, which will make you very painful." - "If you don't do something about your own emotions, others won't take you seriously." - "The shortcomings that are unacceptable before marriage are even more unacceptable after marriage." - "Conflicts will not be resolved automatically the next day. The sooner they are resolved, the lower the costs and the greater the benefits." - "When you want to accuse me, just tell me what to do. Don't accuse me!" - "Spend more time improving yourself, and if you get better and better, the other person will love you more and more." - "You have to live seriously and then take time to love others, rather than love others seriously and take time to live."

This book has improved my understanding of love and intimate relationships in several dimensions. We need to distinguish between imagination and the real world. In the past, when I was in love, I would use imagination to reason and predict. But is it true? Not really. You have to verify it with real life. If you think he is like this, you have imagined it, or you have calculated it based on past experience. The real world is unpredictable, uncontrollable, and random. Since we have doubts, we should go and check the facts to dispel our own concerns, so that we will not worry about gains and losses, and direct and act by ourselves. To fall in love, you still need to understand human nature, know yourself and your enemy, and fight without danger.

I really like this kind of realistic and social-related writing. Recently, I have had too many expectations for the boy I have a crush on. However, I now find that the two of us have just entered college and have so much life experience. I should not let my imagination about him influence my emotions. Finding things I like and completing them seriously will not only help me improve some abilities, but also alleviate most of the negative emotions towards myself caused by my mind. It taught us a lot of ways to truly love ourselves, our relatives, our friends, and our partners. It felt like it cured a lot of my anxiety.

The author objectively analyzes various problems encountered in the relationship between the sexes, and gives solutions and suggestions. It has gained a lot and benefited a lot. In my opinion, it can be used not only in the relationship between the sexes, but also in dealing with family relationships, friendships, etc.! Many suggestions given in the book gave me a lot of inspiration. To sum up: communication between people is to exchange sincerity for sincerity. We should be the masters of emotions, and should not be swayed by emotions to guess the other party's intentions. We should actively communicate, express true thoughts, actively deal with contradictory situations that arise, and do not be afraid of imaginary difficulties. The above experience applies to all interpersonal interactions!

This is really super good-looking and has helped me a lot. I am an anxious, dependent love-brain lover, or a highly sensitive person. It really touched my heart [crying] [crying]. The examples in life also touched me. The main thing is easy to understand. Thank you to the author. I feel that I have a lot of strength. Finally, I am no longer internally consumed. I finally know why I am so extreme. How should I change? How should I choose a lover? [Send my heart] [Send my heart] I will also learn not to impose my own issues on others.

In fact, what I want to say is that you should be responsible for your own emotions. As your partner, I can help you share some of your emotions, but in the end you still need to face the difficulties yourself. The beneficiary of getting rid of negative emotions is you, so this is your own business.

The author mentioned that no one will give unconditionally, but they have expectations for you. I think this speaks to my heart. And it also taught me a lot. I hope I will continue to refine my view on love in the future.

I just discovered this book today and am still listening to it. I can see that I am paying attention to why I can't always handle intimate relationships. It turns out that many of them are due to my own high sensitivity and high expectations and the desires and desires that were ignored in my childhood. You should not place all this emotion on the other person. You must learn to be responsible for your own issues and do not place high expectations on others. If you are overwhelmed, you will eventually break.

The language of this book is easy to understand, but I prefer books that are persuasive and rigorously argued. This book starts from the author's own perspective. Many of the suggestions in this book are correct, but they are not persuasive and not impressive enough to achieve the effect of truly changing readers. In other words, this book does not start from the essence, but as a book that can be practiced, it is still quite good.

I've finished reading it. It's amazing. It's very consistent with my current situation in dealing with intimate relationships. It doesn't feel like reading a book. It feels more like having a conversation with the author through this book. It's great. I happen to be very confused about dealing with intimate relationships recently. This book has given me a lot of help. It's worth reading twice and three times.