Allow Yourself to Be Yourself

This book is like chatting with you, very friendly and easy to understand. It tells us that in the face of mental exhaustion and negative emotions, we cannot just treat ourselves negatively or indulge ourselves, but we must save ourselves and heal ourselves by cultivating various abilities. These abilities include emotional strength, character strength, originality, self-drive, action, thinking and love. The descriptions in the book are very exciting, such as "Those who can make it through time are those who are willing to make it through themselves." This sentence impressed me deeply. The author Shabai is like a spiritual guide. His sincere narration and suggestions deeply inspired me. In short, this book is well worth reading. It will help you understand yourself better and know how to love yourself.

I divide this book into 1 reading 2 emotions 3. Perfect personality 4 flow 5Self-discipline 6 Those who are good are not as good as those who are happy In fact, these six parts are not in any particular order, they work together and are interconnected, achieving the same goal through different paths.

Summary of the core ideas of "Allow Yourself to Be Yourself" As the first work of psychology blogger Sha Bai, this book focuses on the two dimensions of "self-healing" and "personal growth", and uses a systematic methodology to help readers break through mental internal friction and establish a self-consistent life state. The following is a summary of the core ideas in the book: 1. The underlying logic of self-acceptance 1. Break the perfectionism trap: The author points out that excessive self-criticism stems from the obsession with "should", and real growth begins with accepting one's own imperfections. For example, highly sensitive people do not need to force themselves to become insensitive, and introverts do not need to deliberately cater to social expectations. 2. The process philosophy of happiness: Proposes the concept of "happiness is a process rather than a result", and advocates replacing horizontal competition with vertical comparison (comparing with one's past self) to establish a sense of satisfaction in the current experience. 3. Personality cognitive tools: Introduce personality analysis models such as MBTI, emphasizing that there is no good or bad personality, the key is to understand your own characteristics and turn them into advantages. For example, the empathy of highly sensitive people and the deep thinking ability of introverts. 2. Practical path of emotion management 1. Fear decoding: Revealing that the essence of fear is the instinctive reaction of the brain's amygdala, and anxiety stems from excessive projection of the abstract future. Propose the "near thinking" rule - focus on specific executable items and reduce anxiety by subdividing problems. 2. Three-step method for emotional freedom: allow emotions to exist instead of suppressing them, release stress through 10 minutes of "emotional relaxation time" and writing therapy; accept out-of-control exercises to cultivate mental toughness, and set aside blank time every day to break the cycle of control. 3. Methodology to break through growth difficulties 1. The essence of self-discipline: denying "ascetic self-discipline" and proposing that "real self-discipline comes from intrinsic motivation." It is recommended to improve action ability by splitting goals, creating a triggering environment (behavioral design), and establishing growth-oriented interests. 2. Reconstruction of the family of origin: Emphasize that "the family of origin is the reason, not an excuse" and achieve self-salvation by distinguishing between "facts and feelings", establishing psychological boundaries, and actively correcting cognitive biases. 3. Thinking upgrade strategy: Criticize the "must be correct" thinking pattern, advocate the "happiness first" principle; break the "should be like this" thinking trap, and establish a flexible mentality of "allowing it to happen". 4. How to activate life energy 1. Talent Exploration Guide: Talents are divided into expressive, visual and other categories. It is recommended to discover your own passion through continuous experimentation and immersive experience. Propose the concept of "growing interest" and emphasize obtaining flow experience through challenges. 2. Reconstruction of the value coordinate system: advocates self-realization as the core value and refuses to be defined by secular labels. For example, the cracking of "pleasant personality" requires a shift from "seeking external recognition" to "building self-confidence internally" and reshaping value perception through daily self-affirmation. 5. Practical Tools and Action Framework The book provides a series of practical tools: such as the four-step method for solving anxiety (more description and less judgment, more concrete and less abstract, more action and less planning, more focus and less divergence), procrastination behavioral design model, MBTI personality analysis template, etc. Special emphasis is placed on the practical path of "allowing yourself to be yourself": from accepting emotions to changing behavior, and ultimately achieving the unity of cognition and action. The value of this book lies not only in its theoretical explanation, but also in the systematic solutions it provides. Based on the consulting experience of 6 million fans, the author transforms psychological principles into practical action guides to help readers rebuild their inner order in the era of anxiety and find their own way to relax.

I gained a lot from this book. Many of the emotions introduced in it are the problems I am facing now, so I feel deeply. I should try more, learn more, read more, find my own "talent", discover myself, heal myself, happiness is independent.

It is worth appreciating. When I first read it, I thought it was just an ordinary psychology book. It was not until I came into contact with it that I discovered that this book contains many aspects of knowledge and can help us expand our knowledge, especially the emotional management ability in it. All in all, this book is a treasure and worth reading! !

Be true to yourself. In real life, we are often bound by various judgments and expectations from the outside world, and gradually lose our true self. There is no doubt about the importance of allowing yourself to be yourself, everyone is unique and we don't need to conform to other people's standards. Be brave enough to break free from these constraints and listen to your inner voice. When we try to live up to what others expect, we often feel tired and confused. And when we begin to accept ourselves and allow ourselves to show our true side, we can truly gain inner peace and satisfaction. How to practice "allowing yourself to be yourself" in your life? Pay attention to your feelings; Respect your own choices; Be brave enough to face your imperfections. Only when we truly love and accept ourselves can we better love and be loved by others, break free from the shackles of the outside world, and be our truest selves. [Three core questions] 1. Why do many people find it difficult to allow themselves to be themselves? : External evaluations, family expectations, and environmental influences always make us lack self-confidence and courage. (Especially under the influence of Confucian culture, thinking about yourself is often considered selfish) 2. How can we truly be ourselves? : Recognize your own value and uniqueness, bravely face external pressure, and stick to your own choices. (I am the world) 3. How important is allowing yourself to be yourself to personal growth? : Make people more confident and happy, realize their potential and realize their personal value. (Take the initiative to make people take action, action changes ourselves, and change gives us creativity) Content Sharing 1. Allowing yourself to be yourself is the most important thing in life. Many times, we are always catering to the expectations of others, but forget to listen to our own inner voice. 2. True freedom is not about doing what you want, but not doing what you don't want to do. 3. We often live for the eyes of others, but ignore our own feelings. In fact, only when we truly accept ourselves can we find our own happiness. 4. There is no standard answer in life, everyone has their own unique path. Don't always envy others, but believe in your own choices. 5. Allowing yourself to be yourself means bravely facing your own imperfections, accepting your own shortcomings and deficiencies, and at the same time giving full play to your own strengths and strengths.

I finally finished reading it with some scattered time. I thought about it while reading and excerpted some sentences that felt very insightful and reasonable into my notes, which can make a deeper impression on me. The words and sentences in the book are easy to understand, which does not affect my reading📖 but also makes me think. I am a junior college student, and I have been out for an internship for several months now. I still have mixed feelings about this job and this identity change. I don't seem to be able to talk about whether I like this job or adapt to it. I seem to be able to adapt and survive even though I stumble. I don't know what other people's twenty-one years are like, but my twenty-one years are full of confusion. I don't know what I want to do or what I can do. I have been promoted from junior high school to junior high school, from junior high school to high school, from high school to high school. I don't know why I want to study. Seeing that everyone else is studying, I will study after passing the exam. Except when I am promoted, I will not study if I think I will not pass the exam, and I will go out to work with others. At other times, I have never thought about dropping out of school. Step by step, we arrived now calmly, without any campus violence or early love. The biggest thing I encountered in the first half of my life was probably that I got hyperthyroidism in my senior year of high school. I often asked for leave, and later I had an operation and it disappeared. When I found out I was sick, I was a little scared. I was afraid of s, but later I realized that s didn't seem to be scary. Apart from the sadness of my family, my parents were miserable. They had raised their daughter for so long, wasting time, money and getting nothing. The people in my family are pretty good, but I don't know them well. Maybe it's just my unilateral belief. They didn't deprive me of food and drink since I was a child, and they allowed me to go to school. They supported me even if I didn't have money. They seemed to favor sons over daughters. I didn't really care about this. I was the third child, with two brothers and one sister. The eldest brother is sensible and obedient and takes care of the family, which is loved by others. The younger sister is also sweet-tongued and loved by others. The second child is a man and more rebellious, so he gets more attention. It seems that I have no special characteristics. Fortunately, I don't care about these things. Maybe I do sometimes, but people are naturally biased. I also like sweet-talking and sensible people, so I understand. Maybe it's because I understand it every time I put myself in someone else's shoes, and because it's really not a big deal, I can particularly comfort myself. In addition, I like to take things as they come, and don't like to use my brain to calculate gains and losses, and I don't like to have too much contact with people. Therefore, I have almost zero social experience, I have good but poor learning ability, I am pseudo-mute in verbal communication, and I am also highly sensitive. The emotions and body language that people express to me sporadically can play out a drama in my mind every time. And my job is the front desk, which is all people! ! In the past month or two, I felt like I had breast hyperplasia and hyperthyroidism recurred. I felt so stupid. People like smart people and sweet-tongued people, so I just ignored them and responded with venom. However, I love to laugh, I am dedicated to my work, I have a good attitude towards learning, I can summarize and review my mistakes, and I will correct them when I know they are wrong. Now I am living well. Now I am just anxious and confused. In June next year, I will become a full-time employee or re-employ. If I become a regular employee, in October next year, the contract between my company and the current company will expire, and my company will leave the current place. You can choose to stay with me or stay. Our company's remuneration is pretty good. I'm not sure if I change, but if I stay, I'm sure the remuneration will be good, but the salary is fixed at 4,000. I can't imagine that my salary at the age of 30 will be this small. I love money and want to become more capable. I want to find a job that makes money based on my ability, such as sales. There are many ideas, but they have not been implemented until June next year. This book is particularly suitable for my current situation and is very suitable for people who are in a period of confusion. I have a lot of empty thoughts in my mind, but after reading it, bit by bit it became clear. If you feel confused or anxious, take action. If you are hesitant to make a decision, expand your knowledge base. Understand what sunk costs and opportunity costs are. If you want to improve your abilities, practice deliberately and slowly find what you love. If you want to grow up, you must either read more or experience more. I am reading every book 📚 and I am willing to go out for more walks. I am making little progress every day. I am very much looking forward to my 25-year-old self! ! I hope to be able to take my parents on a trip! I don't know how to write book reviews, but it's good to just read them. I can leave them to the 25-year-old me hehe.

Long-term anxiety, doubt, and noise caused me to lose a lot of focus [Laughing awkwardly] I haven't finished reading it yet. It's okay. I have some help. I hope my situation will change.

I think this is a book that I will read over and over again. I won't be able to remember anything completely after reading it, but I will have a feeling of enlightenment and plant a seed of change in my heart to constantly improve myself.

It can relieve your emotions and give you some pointers. It will resonate with many places in the book and will also point you to specific solutions. The content is easy to understand. Silly Bai is also a high-quality blogger that I like very much on Douyin.

I have learned a lot and need to learn and change a lot. I am working hard to adjust my mentality. It is useless to think too much. The main thing is to start first.

I like some of the views of the author of this book. To be yourself is to think about problems from your own perspective through the positive energy of mindfulness! Sometimes when others ask questions, look for the reasons within yourself! If it's not your problem, just ignore him, be emotionally stable, don't care about other people's opinions, and look forward to more excellent works from you!

After reading this book, I always want to find a breakthrough, stay away from internal friction, and be the truest version of myself. The world is full of wonders. I am who I am, do my own thing well, live my own life well, there is no need to compare with others everywhere. When compared, we often feel that everything is unsatisfactory, that we think too much and do too little, which consumes us internally and makes us miserable. Why bother? Many times we only see other people's glamorous lives and external prosperity, while our own lives are in shambles. In fact, everyone's life is not easy, and the most important thing is to work hard to live your own life. (Excerpt) Common symptoms of people with mental internal exhaustion are that they are often influenced by others and hate themselves intermittently; they have low self-esteem, self-blame, vulnerability, confusion, and fatigue. They feel exhausted even if they only do one thing every day; they lack enthusiasm for life and would rather lie around in a daze than do anything. If this happens to you, you may be suffering from mental distress. To solve the problem of mental internal friction, we can start from two directions: one is to do work externally, and the other is to block it inwardly. If you want to get rid of internal friction, you must either lower your expectations and accept mediocrity; or you must improve your mobility and solve problems. When you are lost, you must learn to ask for directions; when you encounter a problem that you cannot solve and you are internally conflicted, you must also take the initiative to seek help from outside.

This book is great! ! ! The logic is clear, the language expression is simple and clear, the questions raised are to the point, and the analysis of the reasons is profound instead of just giving a vague point of view. After reading the whole book, I answered the confusion I had been having for many years, started to come to terms with myself, and felt that my cognition had improved a lot. Thank you to the author for writing such a great book!

The author writes very well, the content is very realistic, and the expression is very down-to-earth. The method of correcting oneself is also very detailed and close to life. It is easy to understand. It is a very practical book. It can also be seen that the author really wants to help people who are troubled. I give it a thumbs up [Sending Hearts]

As the author said, treat this book as a reference book as much as possible. When you fall into some misunderstandings in thinking and logic, or have problems in interpersonal relationships, lose control of your emotions, etc., You might as well open this book and use the author's in-depth analysis to solve the problems you are encountering at the moment. Of course, in the rapid development of modern society, each of us will encounter some psychological problems more or less, but we must always believe that there will be a solution to all problems. The most important thing is that you must love yourself and allow yourself to be yourself.

It's very interesting and useful. Many of the things he taught me before are mentioned in the book and deepened. Many concepts in the psychology books I read before are also presented, profound and easy to understand. I will read it again. Thank you Silly Bai, thank him😊

Start with small things, start with small goals, start with simplicity Appropriate rewards (rewards must be timely) Only when you treat things as your own will you do them with your heart Behavior will affect your mentality. Even if you are not confident or happy, your behavior should show a confident and happy side. Over time, you will get better. Maintain a good attitude, good sleep, and a good mental state

There are many practical examples and methods in the book, which were of great help to me. Although after reading it, the current dilemma was not completely resolved at once, my state of mind did change. I no longer looked at things so sharply and stubbornly, and my whole person became more transparent than before. Finally, thank you for this book🙏

It comes from reality, goes into your heart, and once you read it, it is a good book.

This book solves many of the problems I am facing right now. I really regret that I couldn't have encountered such a good book earlier, but it's not too late now that I have. Thanks to the author!

The writing is very simple and easy to understand, and there are many examples.

This book is very good. After reading it, I have a clear understanding of myself. It helps me understand myself better and some of the problems I encounter. How do these problems come from, how are they formed, and how can I change them?

When I have some negative emotions, just read it, which will make me feel a lot more relaxed. When I read about being angry, I will even think about the last time I was angry, and then ask myself those three questions, and it seems that I am not that angry anymore...

Only by being true to yourself can you have a real life, a more determined direction, and the future you want. Life is about being born and living. Happiness is actually not far away, it is right in front of you, and all we have to do is keep moving forward until we reach the end of the world.

I think it's so true. Many of the words touched on my heart. It's a very good book. Whenever I feel anxious or internally consumed, I will come here to read it and my heart will become much calmer.

It can be seen that the author sincerely hopes to help readers in need, and the content is full of useful information. It is not like a novel that requires reading the entire text and understanding various principles on your own, but a very practical reference book that can heal yourself. Most of the problems in life can be answered in this book. I hope everyone can live a good life!

Have the courage to be hated

Many viewpoints were discussed, which can increase the knowledge.

Teach everyone how to behave and do things from all aspects, and provide effective and feasible methods. The key point is to practice more and apply the methods in the book.