I'm a Living Action Figure Who Can Fight Calamities?! You've Got to Be Kidding Me

[Mecha Girls] [Dragon Girls] [Insect Girls] [Pope] [Elves] [First-Person Narration]

A major update to Stellaris, a game from Paradox, dropped me into this dazzling interstellar era. Technology and psionics, decay and flourishing, take turns performing on the grand stage of the galaxy.

Good news: 1000% political influence, consumer goods maxed out.

Bad news: I'm a carbon-based life-form, weak in flesh.

"Aila, are those models in the movie real people?"

"Yes. They're actual combat recordings. There are still a few scattered invaders, and the 'Node' is having a hard time dealing with them."

"You mean the computer's under a heavy processing load. Don't worry too much, Aila. I'll be long buried a hundred years from now."

"Sir, just a reminder. The current life expectancy of 'humans' is □□□."

"Does that mean they're going to turn me into canned starfish??"

I leapt up from the sofa. "Ow!" Then I slumped back down in pain. As it turned out, a robot's iron chin beat a man's bony forehead hands down. Aila stood up, took out the first-aid kit, and hurried to treat my wound.

"The chin on an anime girl is so sharp! My head's still buzzing. I demand compensation. You know, emotional damages?"

"Sir, I reminded you several times during the modifications that this cat-face design was a little too 'avant-garde.' Besides, my material is soft. It couldn't have made a sound."

"No way. I'm bleeding. Unless... you let me feel it."

Anyway, sending a living display case with a head full of junk to fight natural disasters is absolutely hell difficulty, okay?