"The family of origin affects our self-worth, life attitude and relationship model. We hope that everyone can find the positive power in their family of origin and empower their own lives. This is life, and this is our required course."
In this book, Hu Shenzhi combines many years of case experience to face the various inner conflicts brought by the original family to adults: analyzing the truth behind family conflicts, exploring how the original family shapes a person's personality, thinking, and behavior, and analyzing the impact of misplaced or missing family roles on a person's growth. It also provides several feasible methods to repair family relationships, leading every adult to re-examine and rationally look at the gains and losses brought by the original family, realize that the original family is not a person's destiny, solve the dilemma caused by the original family, and empower the future life.
Reader comments
This book gave me a deeper understanding of my family of origin, and it helped me understand my own behavior and way of thinking. The author's case analysis was very relevant and made me feel the same way. Moreover, the suggestions in the book are also very practical, allowing me to learn how to repair family relationships and empower myself in life. I think everyone looking for love can read this book, it will bring you a lot of inspiration.
What our family of origin brings to us, whether it's personality or attitude towards others, has a subtle influence on all aspects of us. I am also deeply affected by it without knowing it. I also stubbornly believe that this is the so-called "following the root" and cannot be changed. Even if I change, I will have to go through considerable pain and may not be able to change well. After reading the book, I learned that you don't need to be so confrontational, but you must first accept what your family of origin gives you, accept its existence, face it squarely, then repair it, and finally avoid it effectively.
Some of the statements in the article are still being studied, and they are also shared as follows:
"Family relationships are very simple, whoever suffers changes.
If we want to learn how to love someone, first of all, we cannot be like a referee and judge whether the other person loves us only through some behaviors. Everyone has their own problems and pressures to face. We cannot ask the other person to revolve around us every day. He can have his own life. When two people get along together, it is more about accommodating and understanding each other, rather than holding on to small mistakes in each other's behavior, which will only consume the feelings between each other.
At the same time, we must also note that loving someone is to fulfill the other person, not to change the other person. When we become dependent on a person, we want to change him or her so that he or she becomes closer to the person we imagine him or her to be. Because we cannot accomplish everything by ourselves, we can only place a lot of expectations on others and hope that others will do it for us.
Another important point is that in interpersonal relationships, do not regard the other person as your enemy, but as your partner or friend.
Get used to using us. "
In the end, we have no choice whether what our original family gives us is good or bad. The good things will naturally be passed on, but the bad ones must be faced up to, repaired, and adjusted. To borrow Nezha's words, it's up to me to decide whether it's a devil or a fairy. Therefore, to get out of the so-called curse of the original family, we deserve a better self. Come on, 2025 [OK]
It's a very good book. Things brought by the original family are deeply rooted, but they are not unchangeable. I was also a person who loved to complain, but now I understand that complaining is of no use. Only solving problems is the most important!
A very good book. Let us understand some of the conflicts that exist in the original family and their causes, the harm these conflicts cause to us, how to deal with childhood trauma, get out of the original family, and reshape a new self.
I was deeply moved after reading this book. It is a good book.
"Out of the Original Family"
This book tells us how to minimize the influence of the original family. It also inspires us how to establish a harmonious relationship between the sexes, and then guides us to properly handle the parent-child relationship with the next generation. This book is the best realistic book about the original family that I have ever read. It inspired me a lot after reading it. Each of our current personality traits, handling styles, and behavioral habits are all formed under the influence of the original family. Although we have no way to choose the original family, we must learn to let our parents assume the roles they should assume. People who feel wronged cannot feel loved. This kind of grievance is imposed on oneself. Maybe it will be very different if you sit down calmly and change the communication method. I will definitely read this book a second time. It will make me constantly reflect and make progress. Thank you very much for having such a good author!
After watching it, I feel relieved
After reading this, I learned to step out
Pretty good, but is it over in Chapter 5?
It's very well written. I read part of it and got a lot of help. Thank you very much to the teacher!
This book made me see some things clearly and taught me a lot. Very insightful.
This book gave me a deeper understanding of my family of origin, and it helped me understand my own behavior and way of thinking. The author's case analysis was very relevant and made me feel the same way. Moreover, the suggestions in the book are also very practical, allowing me to learn how to repair family relationships and empower myself in life. I think everyone looking for love can read this book, it will bring you a lot of inspiration.
What our family of origin brings to us, whether it's personality or attitude towards others, has a subtle influence on all aspects of us. I am also deeply affected by it without knowing it. I also stubbornly believe that this is the so-called "following the root" and cannot be changed. Even if I change, I will have to go through considerable pain and may not be able to change well. After reading the book, I learned that you don't need to be so confrontational, but you must first accept what your family of origin gives you, accept its existence, face it squarely, then repair it, and finally avoid it effectively. Some of the statements in the article are still being studied, and they are also shared as follows: "Family relationships are very simple, whoever suffers changes. If we want to learn how to love someone, first of all, we cannot be like a referee and judge whether the other person loves us only through some behaviors. Everyone has their own problems and pressures to face. We cannot ask the other person to revolve around us every day. He can have his own life. When two people get along together, it is more about accommodating and understanding each other, rather than holding on to small mistakes in each other's behavior, which will only consume the feelings between each other. At the same time, we must also note that loving someone is to fulfill the other person, not to change the other person. When we become dependent on a person, we want to change him or her so that he or she becomes closer to the person we imagine him or her to be. Because we cannot accomplish everything by ourselves, we can only place a lot of expectations on others and hope that others will do it for us. Another important point is that in interpersonal relationships, do not regard the other person as your enemy, but as your partner or friend. Get used to using us. " In the end, we have no choice whether what our original family gives us is good or bad. The good things will naturally be passed on, but the bad ones must be faced up to, repaired, and adjusted. To borrow Nezha's words, it's up to me to decide whether it's a devil or a fairy. Therefore, to get out of the so-called curse of the original family, we deserve a better self. Come on, 2025 [OK]
It's a very good book. Things brought by the original family are deeply rooted, but they are not unchangeable. I was also a person who loved to complain, but now I understand that complaining is of no use. Only solving problems is the most important!
A very good book. Let us understand some of the conflicts that exist in the original family and their causes, the harm these conflicts cause to us, how to deal with childhood trauma, get out of the original family, and reshape a new self.
I was deeply moved after reading this book. It is a good book.
"Out of the Original Family" This book tells us how to minimize the influence of the original family. It also inspires us how to establish a harmonious relationship between the sexes, and then guides us to properly handle the parent-child relationship with the next generation. This book is the best realistic book about the original family that I have ever read. It inspired me a lot after reading it. Each of our current personality traits, handling styles, and behavioral habits are all formed under the influence of the original family. Although we have no way to choose the original family, we must learn to let our parents assume the roles they should assume. People who feel wronged cannot feel loved. This kind of grievance is imposed on oneself. Maybe it will be very different if you sit down calmly and change the communication method. I will definitely read this book a second time. It will make me constantly reflect and make progress. Thank you very much for having such a good author!
After watching it, I feel relieved
After reading this, I learned to step out
Pretty good, but is it over in Chapter 5?
It's very well written. I read part of it and got a lot of help. Thank you very much to the teacher!
This book made me see some things clearly and taught me a lot. Very insightful.