[Humorous Three Kingdoms retelling + political intrigue + battles + mind games]
The man introduced himself. “My name is Zhang Fei, though my friends call me Yide. My home’s over in Zhuo Commandery, where I’ve got a little manor. Life’s pretty good. I like a little wine, the occasional pig to slaughter, and making friends with a few tough guys. I saw you staring at that notice just now, so I couldn’t help asking what was on your mind.”
He smiled and replied, “My name is Liu Bei. I’m a distant relative of the imperial family. Seeing the state of the country, I’d like to do my part, but on my own... I’m afraid I want to help more than I’m able to.”
Zhang Fei thumped his chest. “Don’t worry. I’ve got money and men. We can team up and conquer the land! What do you say?”
The two hit it off at once and decided to have a good drink first, then talk about teaming up to conquer the land.
At the tavern, Xuande and Zhang Fei were sipping their drinks when
suddenly a giant of a man appeared at the door, pushing a cart that looked big enough to carry a whole ox. It came rumbling to a stop.
He plopped himself down and shouted to the bartender:
“Come on, get me something strong! I’ve got to go into town and enlist!”
Xuande curiously sized up the big fellow, who called himself Guan. He was tall enough to match two ordinary men, had a beard long enough to serve as a belt, a complexion red enough to be a traffic light, and lips red enough for lipstick. One glare could make a child cry, and one lift of his eyebrows could scare birds into flight.
Xuande thought this fellow was no ordinary tough guy, so he invited him over for a couple of drinks and asked him to tell his story.
Guan bragged as he drank:
“Me? I’m the legendary Guan Yunchang. I used to be called Changsheng, but later I thought that sounded too green, so I changed it to...”
