System: I Have Wolong and Fengchu to Help Me

[No Heroine + Shameless + Mostly Comedy + Slightly Cunning + Ridiculous + Lighthearted]

Born with talent, I'm sure to be of use. A brilliant strategist on my left, a phoenix on my right.

Ask where I come from, and I'll stand at attention with pig ears sticking out.

The sky rumbles, thunder roars, and rain falls from the moment I'm born.

My father throws back his head and laughs, exclaiming, "What an adorable baby!"

Heaven-sent blessings cure a hundred illnesses; all things flourish and thrive.

A dragon coils around my left arm, and a phoenix dances in my right hand.

If you ask where the demon is, just open your damn eyes and take a look.

A supremely kind and pure Daoist towers above, spreading boundless love across the land.

I help the suffering, then leave my flesh behind and turn into a soul.

I gift coffins to bury people, my heart pure and kind. The people beg me to ascend.

The world's suffering never ends, and my supremely kind and pure heart finds no peace.

I fulfill the love in everyone's heart, standing atop the world to protect it.