The Five Abilities of Love II: Emotional Management Lessons in Love and Marriage

This book tells us in detail how to deal with the missing love in childhood, which requires us to have strong insight, tell the other person our own needs, satisfy our sincere personal needs, and slowly live our ideal life. Everything is difficult at the beginning. We learn to write diaries, travel, meet others, read books, and discover problems in ourselves. If we want to make changes, we will lose our original appearance, break the comfort zone, and undergo painful transformations. There is always a way to solve things. To experience and experience, no matter what you choose, it is a resume of your own life. Relax, experience, think, understand, summarize, and learn to love. On the way of growing up, learn to take care of yourself, be yourself, and don't interfere in other people's issues. Your best example is to be yourself, so you only make suggestions and don't interfere on the way. Know your own needs, tell each other your needs, satisfy each other and respect each other, and become healed human beings. I like people with flaws, so I feel that they need me. This is also the reason why I was often abandoned and criticized when I was a child. I have strong self-blame and learn to predict other people's emotions in advance, and then make quick responses to protect myself. Now that I understand, I need to make more firm choices so that I can feel safe and love better.

As the book says, "If they want to pass through this alley, there is only one way to solve the dilemma at hand, which is to back off all the cars coming from one direction and let the cars on the opposite side pass first." This sentence vividly describes the importance of giving in to each other in an intimate relationship. The writing is also very smooth and easy for people to relate to. I recommend you read it too!

While reading, there are many, many moments of empathy, which lie in empathizing with the imperfect self, empathizing with the other person, allowing and accepting the other person's imperfections, and expressing one's own feelings and needs. But when writing a book review, I feel that it cannot be summarized and summarized simply in words. Many times, you still have to combine your own life and your own thinking to get that unique feeling. Material nourishment Material nourishment is basic life care, making the other person feel cared for. Material nourishment is not about making a lot of money, but about taking care of each other's actual needs in the details of life. It was the other party who worked overtime and heated up the meals in advance; Knowing that the other person's hands and feet are cold, prepare a hot water bottle before going to bed; It's because the other party likes spicy food, so he buys an extra bottle of chili sauce when buying groceries. Emotional nourishment Emotional nourishment is responding to the other person's emotions and making the other person feel understood. When the other person has emotions, it may be grievance or anxiety. You can see these emotions and respond to them instead of denying or blaming them. When the other party says that work is very difficult today, you can not deny it by saying, "Why is this so difficult?" You can instead say in an accepting tone, "It sounds very stressful. Do you want to tell me?" Understand, express understanding, and meet needs. Spiritual nourishment Spiritual nourishment is the resonance of values, making the other person feel recognized. Respect each other's life choices, recognize each other's value, and even grow with each other. When the other party wants to change to a job that is low-paying but likes it, you can analyze together what the new job can bring and what preparations both parties need to make. Nourish yourself A person who cannot nourish himself well cannot truly nourish the other person. Be yourself, maintain your independence, and don't regard marriage as everything in your life. Cultivate your own interests, think about the boundaries of things, and be willing to grow yourself. It is to take care of one's own emotions and needs, and not to settle for perfection. When you are wronged, you no longer do not take it lightly, nor do you swallow your anger, but dare to directly express your sadness and discomfort.

Objective things, if we gain timely insight into the other person's needs and understand his trauma, I will suddenly accept it, become tolerant, and then nourish or be nourished. He can also see the same needs as yours and fulfill them.

I finally understood from the source that the reason why I couldn't control my emotions was indeed caused by the trauma I suffered in my childhood. Listening is healing! Being proactive and curious can also be healing. Just guide her and say it!

Getting wet is not necessarily because she doesn't like to hold an umbrella, it may also be because she doesn't have an umbrella [][]

Learn to improve yourself

A good book worth reading carefully

Many methods, very practical

Good, good, good

Well worth seeing

Teacher Zhao is amazing A book that can affect your life

Very profitable Listened to it for the second time

Very good, worth reading

This book has inspired me a lot

To nourish others is to nourish yourself

Thank you, this book helps me a lot

After seeing this, I realized many of my shortcomings. It would be nice if I could see it earlier

Very useful. I learned a lot about how to get along with others. I will watch it again and again in the future

Revealing inner feelings, conforming to reality and being practical

Very useful, I feel like it touches my heart

The examples inside have happened to me. After reading this book, you will understand how to nourish each other and yourself. Very practical.

Very helpful, changed a lot, need to listen more

After reading this book, I realized that it is important to grow yourself

Nourish. Grow and adjust yourself instead of changing the other person.

It was very touching, and it clearly expressed what I couldn't do in my heart, and taught me how to think and grow, and slowly change!

Objective and true, with a reasonable structure, it expresses different thoughts in the heart.

It's very close to reality and very thorough, analyzing the details and providing guidance on how to deal with them. Benefit.

My lover recommended it. There are many examples in it that are exactly the same as mine. It is simply amazing and very helpful in guiding the growth of intimate relationships between lovers.