Rule*************

The vocabulary is gorgeous and the writing style deserves recognition, but it feels like the author is writing an article. A novel is not an article. A novel needs to be divided into frequent paragraphs. Each paragraph should be a scene in the reader's mind, and the paragraphs should change as the scene in the reader's mind changes. For readers of novels, paragraphing can slow down the reading pace, allow readers time to use their imagination, and guide readers' emotions to gradually progress. Basically, the novel is a sentence or a paragraph. I hope the author will read other novels of the same type to get a better understanding. The whole article has the feeling of being written deliberately, that is, it is a lyrical essay or an insightful essay written by a great writer. People who like to read novels and people who like to read classics are two different people. The old man who tells stories and the storyteller are also two different styles. The old man only needs a few hundred words to tell the whole story, but the storyteller needs thousands of words to make people listen mesmerizingly. If the old man jogged all the time, the storyteller sometimes strolled and sometimes ran at full speed. The novel needs to immerse people into it. The key points should be written in detail instead of just mentioning the key points in one stroke. Vocabulary can improve the writing style and reading experience, and the vernacular makes people feel more familiar. There are also concepts, foreshadowing, logic, transitions, etc. Only by using them properly can you write a masterpiece. The beginning is a bit confusing. After reading it for a long time, I don't know what the story is. The reader will have random thoughts and can't get the answer. What was the protagonist's state in the beginning? Where is he? In the system space or the rule world? Why does the protagonist conflict with the system? What does a humble house look like? It is a good thing to arouse readers' curiosity, but too many questions will make people irritable and impatient, which will lead to doubts and disgust, and it is easy to lose interest in reading. The first three golden chapters need an interesting story. You don't need to introduce the background, but you need to meet from point to point. Too frequent and fast scene changes will make people dizzy. Moreover, there is no scene description or emotional description in the whole article. Even the way of speaking is a bit official, just like when friends meet, you say: Have you eaten? You will think this friend is weird. These should be places where the author uses his writing style and rhetoric to make the novel more vivid and vivid. However, when I read the first chapter, my mind was empty and I could not imagine anything. The protagonist seemed to have a straight face all the time, and then sneered. Anyway, I suggest the author to read more novels, especially some good works. Because what you write is more like an article than a novel.