I seemed to have happiness already. I was only missing a figure I thought was essential, but who was actually insignificant! Now that she is really coming, now that she is about to return to my life, the word “mother” seems impossibly hollow, as if she were nothing more than a “word.” Do I really still need her? My greatest wish has been to see her. Once I see her, what then? I can promise that I will turn and walk away at once. I will not even give her a hug, and I will not shed a single tear! How am I supposed to accept her? It is as though I have never blamed her or rejected her. Whether she stays or goes is her decision, and I have no right to interfere...
