Cultivation: Unscientific Cultivation

[No System + no clichés + absurd humor + heartwarming + ensemble light novel]

Unscientific cultivation, endless fun!

Lu Han, dressed in rags and holding a book with a yellowed cover, chuckled:

"I can tell you have remarkable bones and were born to be a cultivation prodigy. I'll sell you this book, The Self-Cultivation of an Immortal, for five copper coins."

The boys and girls all burst into tears with a chorus of "Waaah!": "There's a bad guy!"

"..."

Lu Han was at his wits' end:

After all the hardships of transmigrating here, I finally managed to attain the Great Dao. I just want to properly uphold the immortal path. Why is it so hard?

(The protagonist is adorably naive and secretly devious, without realizing it. The blurb and opening aren't great, so please read on.)