The Reaper Boy and the Girl with Leukemia

I found a book by chance and read 10 chapters. I personally feel pretty good about it. After reading it, it's the author's first novel. I'll give you my evaluation, just like the author's title. Because it's the first novel I want to write, it has many shortcomings and I need readers to give their valuable opinions. The following content evaluation only represents my subjective opinion. The following contains spoilers for chapters 1 to 10. The flashback technique used at the beginning has an incident as the central theme of naming the killer at the beginning of the novel. The common technique in many works is very effective, but the content is a bit unsatisfactory. How did Jiang Yuyou, who has become a top killer, find out so easily? It would be better to add an incident that caused his mask to accidentally fall off and be seen by a girl with leukemia (to be determined, I don't know if this girl is Jiang Xinju). Personally, it would be better to unfold the story like this. Then it enters the main part of the novel, starting with the call of the male protagonist's good friend, a relaxed and happy daily life on campus, and describing the male protagonist's character and family situation from the side before he became a killer. I found a suspicious man on the way home, and I witnessed the transaction scene out of curiosity. This way of writing is too direct. I think the accidental and coincidental approach is worse than too direct way of writing. After all, it is a connection between killers that was discovered by a child. It feels weird. It would be better to take a shortcut for something, or chase something. If you happen to see it and do the following driven by curiosity, it will not feel that way. The strength of the introducer of the male protagonist Bai Ge is unknown, but as an important person in the killer organization, I feel that it is too casual. Talent is something that cannot be seen. As a killer, you should focus on how to solve the target. How can you use talent as the so-called halo of the protagonist? At least I have not seen or discerned the talent of the male protagonist at all. In the previous content, I only saw that the male protagonist is just a junior high school student with excellent academic performance. This cannot introduce the talent of the male protagonist. The so-called training operation of hanging on the balcony in the back feels too abrupt. Is this really a description of observing the male protagonist's talent (talent should be extraordinary calmness). It would be better to describe the male protagonist's talent from the side at the beginning, such as being very focused, being particularly interested in certain things, or the male protagonist showing a very extreme state under certain events. All can be used as descriptions of talent. Then there is the meeting and growth between the male protagonist and the female partner. I can only feel that it is rushed. The pace is too fast. Whether it is the first meeting in class or the first mission, I feel that it is fast. So much so that I didn't have much ups and downs when the male protagonist's mother passed away and the male protagonist hugged each other. This process can obviously be written very well. I don't know if it is because the leukemia girl who is the subject of the article has not been written yet, so I am rushing forward or something. What I like most about this section is the psychological description of the first murder. It is very good but could be better. There could be some ups and downs in the killing process, such as what preparations were made when killing the target knowing that he would be assassinated. For example, he hid a gun or something. (The content is as follows: After the fox cut off the power, the skeleton followed the trend. When he climbed over the window and slowly approached the target, preparing for a fatal blow, the target reacted. The accompanying girl stood in front of him. The male protagonist was stunned for a moment when he saw the wrong target being assassinated. In a daze, he felt pain on the left side of his face. A heavy punch hit the left side of his face, hitting near the temple. He was dizzy and his vision began to blur. He could penetrate his heart. According to the description, the male protagonist should be surprised at the first moment that the mission was known. The target knew the time and content of the assassination in advance. At the same time, the fox immediately sensed something unusual and quickly entered the house through the window. He quickly approached the target and stabbed the target in the neck with the dagger. The target turned sideways, and the dagger missed the target. Shi grabbed the fox's hand and raised it to the fox's abdomen with his knees. Severe pain hit him. The fox endured the severe pain and quickly turned over and climbed onto the target's shoulder. He took out a spare dagger from behind and stabbed the target in the temple. Almost at the same time, a cold canned object was pressed against the fox's chin. The fox immediately stopped and thought, "Gun?" It can be described. It turns out that the fox has seen a gun, so the target of the fox behind him is a policeman. At this time, the target can start to become arrogant. For example, he starts to explain how he knew? It took a few seconds for the male protagonist to regain consciousness and saw that the fox was actually held against the gun and the dying woman in front of him was staring at him. Duan can also insert a psychological description of the concept of killing. After being stabbed in the heart, he finally pulled out the knife inserted in the woman's abdomen and flew towards the target and stabbed the target's hand holding the gun. The fox stabbed the dagger into the target's head almost at the same time. At the end of the mission, the two watched the two sides kill each other and fell into an inner struggle. , Bai Ge is cutting in, because the male protagonist immediately hit the target and began to suspect that he was betrayed and had an inner struggle with the woman who saw him kill. He immediately took the dagger from the fox's hand and stabbed Bai Ge quickly. You said you can't trust anyone, including me. I think you barely qualified for this mission. There are too many things that can be added in the middle, such as the fox's fear of his teammates' death when he was grabbed on the chin. Or the male protagonist's entanglement with his conscience and the fox's life can be written better.) At least in my opinion, the rapid warming of the relationship between the male and female protagonists is too abrupt, without waves or ripening agents. Then there is the section between the mother and the male protagonist. It can be said that it is an important person and event for the male protagonist to join the organization, but why not spend more words and events to describe it, the gift mobile phone, and the mother's suicide note. After watching it, I felt that it was very confusing. Often the things handed over by important characters must be key props. For example, the jade pendant and the father's half of the family portrait were torn off. The suicide note was passable, but how could the male protagonist, who always thought about his mother, not even fulfill his mother's last wish in the suicide note, but still wanted revenge. Next is an internal assessment of a short-form content killer. I think it has the most problems and the most highlights. The number of words is not enough. I will code it later. In the end, as the author said, this is my first novel and it is something I have wanted to do since I was a child, and instead of taking action, my spirit is very valuable. It is very difficult for people nowadays just to keep up with life, but they are still willing to pay