Loving and being loved are related to fate, and it is also a kind of ability that requires deliberate practice.
This book about love helps readers cultivate the "power of love" that is crucial to life through deliberate practice.
The book analyzes many common problems in intimate relationships, such as: Why is it so difficult to fall in love and why is it so easy to get hurt?
How to build intimacy?
How to make love last forever?
How to communicate? How to say no?
How to resolve conflicts?
How to break up well when a relationship ends?
The author diagnoses common love-related problems and puts forward practical suggestions on "how to love and be loved" especially for contemporary young people who "do not want to get married or be alone".
Reading this book is like catching up on a crucial "love lesson", allowing people to still have the courage and ability to live a life of love and warmth in an era of loneliness and alienation.
Reader comments
Five stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐, I read this book intermittently. Many times I read it while listening to it, because I couldn't stand it. On the one hand, it felt more theoretical, and on the other hand, I felt like I was facing my own shortcomings. Through this reaction, I saw my own shortcomings and learned some ways to improve. I hope that I can increase my ability to love, love myself better, and live on. Thank you to the author [sending my heart] [sending my heart]. When I saw him riding a bicycle, I realized that the author is a male. His writing style is very delicate and powerful👍🏻
This book explains in detail the various types of love, how they are formed, and how they gradually turn into stable love. We learn to love ourselves, build a sense of security for ourselves, write more, and learn more about our inner world. What should we do when we encounter this kind of thing, and gain experience in the process. Don't be afraid of breaking up. Just think about it for a week if it's not suitable. After making the decision, we will feel lost and introspective. Thinking about every bit of the past, we are very sad. At this time, we need to eat well, sleep well, and enrich our lives. Even when it is quiet at night, we must hint that we will be fine and will be fine. I know you are in pain, but this is what you have to bear. But in the past, we had the courage to start a new relationship. Life is long, and we need love to fill our lives and add color to our life resumes. For the objections coming from our own parents, we slowly tried to communicate our own feelings and facts, and we also knew that they cared about us. I hope everyone can find their true love.
The concept of love here is very correct. Close relationships are like colonies. The flow of power in one direction will cause excessive interference and then be cannibalized. Independence and equality are the foundation of healthy love. You have to be independent in everything, have opinions, and have a bottom line. You have to experience some things before you know what you want.
The book is quite good. I couldn't figure it out three months after the breakup. I slowly understood the other person while reading the book, and I also gained a lot from the book. The explanations of related terms given by the author are also quite useful, and I feel relieved after reading them.
The author's writing style is delicate and easy to read, as if you are having a conversation with the author.
We need to have the ability to love, love our family, love our friends, and love those who are compatible with each other. Those who love others will also be loved.
It's good to have love, and it doesn't matter if you don't have it. Everyone has their own unique life. If you choose to love, then please manage well, understand each other, support each other, and communicate well. Even if you break up in the end, you should be calm about it. This is normal. You have loved and had good times, and in the end you can't get along. Just break up decently. Record your gains and losses, put your bags on your back, and move on. If you still want to love, there will always be someone who suits your needs. You can live a good life even if you don't want to be alone.
Every choice is life, and you don't have to listen to other people's opinions. "The person who can stand without pain" will only start from his own perspective, and what is suitable for him may not be suitable for you. If you really want love, just go for it boldly and seriously. You don't have to think too much. It's only possible if you try. If you don't try, you'll never have a chance.
Love others first and love yourself first. If you give up on yourself, no one will love you.
The ability to love someone requires learning and practice. It is impossible for two people to get along with each other from the beginning. It takes a period of running-in before they become more comfortable. Of course, if you find someone with similar interests and values from the beginning, you will quickly get through the running-in period.
Don't leave a lot of hidden "little bombs" with the person you love just because of minor conflicts and for the sake of face. The earlier the conflict, the better to resolve it at the beginning. The longer it goes on, the more troublesome it will be because you don't know what will happen in the future that will explode a large number of "little bombs" left behind.
Deliberate practice of love, love also requires practice, or it is not just love. People are a blank sheet of paper from birth. What about those things we take for granted that do not require us to practice deliberately? If we want to run fast, we have to practice running. If we want to jump high, we have to practice high jumping. If we want to speak, we have to practice pronunciation. Whether it is love, emotions or communication, we need to constantly get better through practice and trial and error.
Not only to love better, but also to be loved better!
I was in pain for a week after the breakup. I proposed the breakup on my own. After the breakup, I regretted it so much that I couldn't bear it and went to get back together with him. After we got back together, we broke up again because of the pain. Over and over again, it's a complete mess. Thanks to Teacher Yin for this book, I saw many shortcomings in myself. I used to read part of it to get myself out, but later because I was in a bad mood, I was living in a haze and didn't read much. I continued reading it again today, and I felt a sense of loss after finishing it in one sitting. I broke up! I think I'll be fine.
First of all, I am very grateful to the author. This book has answered some doubts.
Helped me understand a lot
This book not only provides help on how to love, but also includes other aspects. Originally, I only wanted to give 4 stars, but after seeing the end, I thought about it and gave 5 stars.
This book will definitely be helpful to you. Please read it on demand.
The author must be a person who loves and explores himself. Throughout the article, you can feel his understanding of "love" and "attachment" (not finished reading) and expressed it in words. Now it helps us understand ourselves and then makes suggestions. I personally think it is very pertinent, thoughtful and not boring.
Everyone wants to get married, but you may not be able to find your partner if you want to get married.
Everyone can read this book to understand the reasons that prevent them from loving, and how to love themselves better so as to love others. These are topics that we should learn and practice, and they are also required courses on the road to growth. Although book knowledge is very important, what can really change your own state is your own actions.
Love fools should watch more instead of watching impossible dramas every day
It is indeed a useful book, but after reading it, I don't want to find a partner anymore [face covering]
This book is like a caring friend sharing the true meaning of love with you. It not only analyzes the difficulties in love, but also provides practical suggestions for us to learn to love and be loved. As the book says, "Loving and being loved is a matter of fate. It is also an ability that requires deliberate practice." The author uses his own experience as an example to let us see the complexity and importance of love. After reading this book, I believe you will have a deeper understanding of love.
It's great. Although there are some opinions that are different from mine, it is very useful for learning the basic abilities of loving and being loved.
Easy to understand, simple and clear, and also provides corresponding countermeasures and implementation plans
A very good book that sorted out some of my questions❓You can read more to adolescent children⌯oᴗo⌯
Lectured well and learned a lot
So, don't miss the love of the past, and don't be afraid of the love that is to come.
This book has taught me a lot about psychology, and it has also given me a deeper and more intimate understanding of myself and the people around me.
I learned a lot and have a clearer understanding of some of my own behavioral psychology. It is worth reading again and again.
It is a very useful book, it is very relaxing to read, layer by layer, it is like peeling off the cocoon.
This is a very delicate and practical emotional book. After reading it, you can learn a lot of principles and help us become better versions of ourselves.
The content is practical and beautiful
Good book objective analysis
Makes sense, makes you think
The Master of Disorganized Attachment
Delicate, powerful, calm
Books worth reading
I can't read anymore. Maybe she will come back and take a look when she meets the one. After all, she is still single now.
Five stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐, I read this book intermittently. Many times I read it while listening to it, because I couldn't stand it. On the one hand, it felt more theoretical, and on the other hand, I felt like I was facing my own shortcomings. Through this reaction, I saw my own shortcomings and learned some ways to improve. I hope that I can increase my ability to love, love myself better, and live on. Thank you to the author [sending my heart] [sending my heart]. When I saw him riding a bicycle, I realized that the author is a male. His writing style is very delicate and powerful👍🏻
This book explains in detail the various types of love, how they are formed, and how they gradually turn into stable love. We learn to love ourselves, build a sense of security for ourselves, write more, and learn more about our inner world. What should we do when we encounter this kind of thing, and gain experience in the process. Don't be afraid of breaking up. Just think about it for a week if it's not suitable. After making the decision, we will feel lost and introspective. Thinking about every bit of the past, we are very sad. At this time, we need to eat well, sleep well, and enrich our lives. Even when it is quiet at night, we must hint that we will be fine and will be fine. I know you are in pain, but this is what you have to bear. But in the past, we had the courage to start a new relationship. Life is long, and we need love to fill our lives and add color to our life resumes. For the objections coming from our own parents, we slowly tried to communicate our own feelings and facts, and we also knew that they cared about us. I hope everyone can find their true love.
The concept of love here is very correct. Close relationships are like colonies. The flow of power in one direction will cause excessive interference and then be cannibalized. Independence and equality are the foundation of healthy love. You have to be independent in everything, have opinions, and have a bottom line. You have to experience some things before you know what you want.
The book is quite good. I couldn't figure it out three months after the breakup. I slowly understood the other person while reading the book, and I also gained a lot from the book. The explanations of related terms given by the author are also quite useful, and I feel relieved after reading them.
The author's writing style is delicate and easy to read, as if you are having a conversation with the author. We need to have the ability to love, love our family, love our friends, and love those who are compatible with each other. Those who love others will also be loved. It's good to have love, and it doesn't matter if you don't have it. Everyone has their own unique life. If you choose to love, then please manage well, understand each other, support each other, and communicate well. Even if you break up in the end, you should be calm about it. This is normal. You have loved and had good times, and in the end you can't get along. Just break up decently. Record your gains and losses, put your bags on your back, and move on. If you still want to love, there will always be someone who suits your needs. You can live a good life even if you don't want to be alone. Every choice is life, and you don't have to listen to other people's opinions. "The person who can stand without pain" will only start from his own perspective, and what is suitable for him may not be suitable for you. If you really want love, just go for it boldly and seriously. You don't have to think too much. It's only possible if you try. If you don't try, you'll never have a chance. Love others first and love yourself first. If you give up on yourself, no one will love you. The ability to love someone requires learning and practice. It is impossible for two people to get along with each other from the beginning. It takes a period of running-in before they become more comfortable. Of course, if you find someone with similar interests and values from the beginning, you will quickly get through the running-in period. Don't leave a lot of hidden "little bombs" with the person you love just because of minor conflicts and for the sake of face. The earlier the conflict, the better to resolve it at the beginning. The longer it goes on, the more troublesome it will be because you don't know what will happen in the future that will explode a large number of "little bombs" left behind.
Deliberate practice of love, love also requires practice, or it is not just love. People are a blank sheet of paper from birth. What about those things we take for granted that do not require us to practice deliberately? If we want to run fast, we have to practice running. If we want to jump high, we have to practice high jumping. If we want to speak, we have to practice pronunciation. Whether it is love, emotions or communication, we need to constantly get better through practice and trial and error. Not only to love better, but also to be loved better!
I was in pain for a week after the breakup. I proposed the breakup on my own. After the breakup, I regretted it so much that I couldn't bear it and went to get back together with him. After we got back together, we broke up again because of the pain. Over and over again, it's a complete mess. Thanks to Teacher Yin for this book, I saw many shortcomings in myself. I used to read part of it to get myself out, but later because I was in a bad mood, I was living in a haze and didn't read much. I continued reading it again today, and I felt a sense of loss after finishing it in one sitting. I broke up! I think I'll be fine.
First of all, I am very grateful to the author. This book has answered some doubts. Helped me understand a lot This book not only provides help on how to love, but also includes other aspects. Originally, I only wanted to give 4 stars, but after seeing the end, I thought about it and gave 5 stars. This book will definitely be helpful to you. Please read it on demand.
The author must be a person who loves and explores himself. Throughout the article, you can feel his understanding of "love" and "attachment" (not finished reading) and expressed it in words. Now it helps us understand ourselves and then makes suggestions. I personally think it is very pertinent, thoughtful and not boring.
Everyone wants to get married, but you may not be able to find your partner if you want to get married.
Everyone can read this book to understand the reasons that prevent them from loving, and how to love themselves better so as to love others. These are topics that we should learn and practice, and they are also required courses on the road to growth. Although book knowledge is very important, what can really change your own state is your own actions.
Love fools should watch more instead of watching impossible dramas every day
It is indeed a useful book, but after reading it, I don't want to find a partner anymore [face covering]
This book is like a caring friend sharing the true meaning of love with you. It not only analyzes the difficulties in love, but also provides practical suggestions for us to learn to love and be loved. As the book says, "Loving and being loved is a matter of fate. It is also an ability that requires deliberate practice." The author uses his own experience as an example to let us see the complexity and importance of love. After reading this book, I believe you will have a deeper understanding of love.
It's great. Although there are some opinions that are different from mine, it is very useful for learning the basic abilities of loving and being loved.
Easy to understand, simple and clear, and also provides corresponding countermeasures and implementation plans
A very good book that sorted out some of my questions❓You can read more to adolescent children⌯oᴗo⌯
Lectured well and learned a lot
So, don't miss the love of the past, and don't be afraid of the love that is to come.
This book has taught me a lot about psychology, and it has also given me a deeper and more intimate understanding of myself and the people around me.
I learned a lot and have a clearer understanding of some of my own behavioral psychology. It is worth reading again and again.
It is a very useful book, it is very relaxing to read, layer by layer, it is like peeling off the cocoon.
This is a very delicate and practical emotional book. After reading it, you can learn a lot of principles and help us become better versions of ourselves.
The content is practical and beautiful
Good book objective analysis
Makes sense, makes you think
The Master of Disorganized Attachment
Delicate, powerful, calm
Books worth reading
I can't read anymore. Maybe she will come back and take a look when she meets the one. After all, she is still single now.