Teamfight Tactics: Something's Off About My Hexes

(The author only wrote the first few tens of thousands of words. The later, padded sections with completely nonsensical logic were written by a ghostwriter to finish the story for me.)

Fang Shiqin, the number-one Teamfight Tactics player, transmigrates to a world where auto-battlers are wildly popular. Thinking he had no golden finger, he plans to return to his old career and take on the world's top pro players. But it turns out his Augments are totally broken!

[Door-to-Door Service: After winning a player-versus-player round, you can send one of your units to help a player who is still battling, forcing them to pay you 15 gold in protection money]

[Pay-to-Win Master: You can top up your gold directly with your bank card]

[Tahm Kench Family: Obtain one two-star Tahm Kench from every set in which he appeared]

[What Are You Barking About: All other players are forbidden from using text or voice chat for this game. You're the only one who can speak, so insult them to your heart's content]

“What? After all that, you still managed to hit a three-star five-cost right under my nose? I'm done playing!”

[I'm Done Playing: Launch a missile that sends every Little Legend flying into the sky, then randomly determines the final rankings]

The players: ??????

The organizers: ??????

The global audience: ??????