Can someone walking peacefully down the street really get hit by a car?
Sang Yuan couldn't believe his luck. As if that weren't enough, a crappy System with a face like a turd showed up and said it would bring him back to life. Sang Yuan immediately crossed his hands and said, “No way!” The little turd-face crumpled in dismay. “You can't do that! Why aren't you following the script? Everyone else happily says to their System, ‘Sure thing, System! You'd never... Give your big bro System some respect!’” The turd even set aside its dignity to beg him.
Sang Yuan's face twisted into a mess. “Little Turd, don't do that. You're freaking me out. Do you know how terrifying it is for a lump of turd to act cute?” Sang Yuan clearly wasn't falling for it.
Little Turd brought out its big guns. “The person who hit you called you an idiot. Don't you want revenge? And you don't even have a partner! Don't you want revenge?”
Sang Yuan's blood boiled. “I do! Do you guarantee me a boyfriend?”
Little Turd fell strategically silent. “...”
Sang Yuan was instantly crushed. “...Seriously, sir? You're offering me nothing, trying to get something for free, and you think you'll rope in this super-duper adorable guy? Come on!”
Little Turd fell silent again, at a rare loss for words. “=_= Don't be like that. Really, you're adorable.”
“How about I get you a boyfriend? And make sure you have more money than you can spend.” Little Turd cautiously tested the waters.
Sang Yuan turned around. “Turd, you really get me. You know I like guys.” He grinned at Little Turd. “What's the name of my boyfriend-to-be, whom I've never even met?”
Little Turd looked at him speechlessly and flipped through its records. “Yucheng Yan. He's 190 centimeters tall and likes men. You're 175, just right for him. Go get him, Yuan Bao.”
Sang Yuan raised an eyebrow. “Watch me win him over.”
I am the author, I want to give five stars
Author, I limit you to update at least four pieces a day, don't make me kneel down and beg you!