The Unluckiest Body Under Heaven: Anyone Who Gets Close Is Doomed

The pacing isn’t fast!!! The characters aren’t dumb! This isn’t fast food fiction! The plot gets more exciting the further you read! Other people’s Systems give them Great Emperor cultivation or ancient divine weapons. Mine just peeks at underwear or gropes thighs, and damn, it keeps upgrading! The higher the level, the more shameless it gets! [Ding! The Host can put up with it, but the System can’t!] [Ding! I leveled up, big stinky brother, I hate you!] [Ding! You stinky egg of a brother, you made me wait sooo long!] Wei Ping’an has the world’s worst luck. He cultivates the fate-changing art of the Three Calamities and Twelve Tribulations. Good grief, while others cultivate immortality, I slay immortals. Get close to me and you’ll ascend to immortality.