A Mildly Depressed Patient’s Personal Account

Name: A Mildly Depressed Patient’s Personal Account
Author: A Bit of Beauty in the Heart, Alan

一个轻度抑郁患者的自述

by A Bit of Beauty in the Heart, Alan (心里的一分美好阿兰)

Status: Completed
Length: 97k Words
Genre: Urban
Subgenre: Urban Everyday
Updated: 3y ago
Source: Fanqie

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Synopsis

I have mild depression, which may have developed into bipolar disorder. I once spent over ten months in a psychiatric hospital, against my will, but I have never been willing to admit that it’s an illness. Or maybe I simply don’t want to admit it. Recently, I joined a group for people with bipolar disorder. There were more women than men, and for a while I was quite active in the chat, presumptuously answering questions from some of the new “patients” and their family members. But I realized something I couldn’t deny: whenever I was active in the chat, more of the “old-timers” chose to stay silent. Later, after I stopped speaking for quite some time, the group became lively again. As someone who loves psychology, I couldn’t figure out exactly why, but at least it seemed the group got along better without me. Fine, I can be like air. I’m willing to be like air, though perhaps air isn’t quite the right word. At least I can find shared experiences and familiar feelings from the past in their conversations.