People Who Know How to Chat Talk Like This

I didn't expect that a book would teach me how to communicate with others, eh

Strong practical skills. The thinking templates and coping skills provided in the article are suitable for rapid application and targeted problem solving. They are mainly biased towards experience summary, are objective and lack subjective thinking. It is recommended that you first read and practice high emotional intelligence to build the main framework, and then learn the methods, routines, and eloquence to deal with skills.

The purpose of chatting is to build relationships The scenes are all different, and the purpose is to eliminate each other's wariness through dialogue and successfully close the distance between each other. The key content will be in large fonts, and there will be a comparison picture at the beginning and a core frame at the end, which is very suitable for people who don't have time to read (the full text is only 3.7W, and the core is rarely organized, which is probably due to the author's work experience) There is no need to force yourself to say interesting things, let alone try to summarize what you want to say → These are things you should not do in chat Don't use "in a word" to summarize what you want to say "The show must go on." What's important is not the content, but the continuation. 1. 1. "You don't need to try your best to say interesting things when chatting, just keep the conversation going." By communicating each other's feelings, two people's hearts will become closer. 2. Exchange each other's joys, sorrows and joys while chatting, and the relationship between two people will become better and better. What we are talking about is not "information", but "feelings" Use onomatopoeia to tell your own story 3. Rather than talking about news or popular topics, you should talk about your own story. Talking about personal experiences makes it easier to convey emotions and bring us closer to each other. Even if you disagree with the other person and you feel that what the other person said is wrong, turning a blind eye and continuing what you said is wisdom. People will open their hearts only after being affirmed After people are continuously affirmed, they will involuntarily want to express their feelings 4. Listen to what the other person says, affirm the other person, and resonate with the other person. Don't deny the other person, don't give the other person suggestions In order not to feel tired and constrained, you need to "be lazy" a little bit 5. Rather than trying to agree, you should work harder to react. 6. If you fall into silence, talk about interesting things around you and your feelings. Silence means the topic is too far away and you should return to the topic around you Chatting until "eighty percent full" is the comfortable state for chatting 7. The correct way to end a chat is to use chat skills in reverse: try not to talk about your mood; reduce your reactions; summarize what you want to say and leave the scene. Being able to end a chat successfully is also a sign of knowing how to chat. A relaxing start to a chat → Say hello with hello 2. 1. State your name several times → wait for the other party to confirm their name and identity. A chat that starts with "Hello" makes people feel comfortable People have histories, and names also have origins 2. The short story about the name not only becomes more interesting the more you tell it, but also contains the other person's original story. It is a special topic that only belongs to this person. By chatting about each other's names, you can enter the other person's world without even realizing it. 3. In daily life, the things we "like" and "every 'moment' we enjoy" can become the answer to "What are you interested in recently?" You don't have to give a direct answer to the question the other party asked. When asked about your hobbies, tell me about your arrangements last weekend and this weekend. Don't talk about others, talk about each other 4. Use keywords that appear in the conversation as prompts, and then switch to topics about each other. Even if they keep chatting about common acquaintances, the relationship between the two people will not become closer. Use "past", "present" and "future" to ask questions 5. For things we don't know, just ask the other person for advice. Always keep "how are you" in mind Avoid having one person talk all the time and the other person listen all the time. This is a chat with high emotional intelligence. 6. The topic brought up by the other party belongs to the other party and cannot be "copied" and steal other people's microphones. What you communicate with the other party in the chat should not be black and white opinions, but each other's preferences. There is no right answer to the topic of preferences Must-talk topic: Likes and dislikes of food 7. Talk about each other's preferences and avoid making critical comments about others' preferences. Cool down the conversation with "I'm so happy chatting with you." 8. The best balance in chatting is to keep 30% of your topic and 70% of the other person's topic. You must not cross your arms and make conscious movements with your hands. Don't look at the other person's eyes, look at the other person's mouth If you want the other person to stay away, you can deliberately "cross your arms to show rejection" No matter what topic the other party throws, you can use "Hmm" to express agreement, "That's great" to express resonance, "Hmm..." To express thinking, "Hey" to express surprise, and "Wow" to express admiration. 10. To cater cleverly, it is better to give a reaction first. End the conversation with "Thank you so much." 11. When the conversation reaches a troublesome point, end the conversation by saying thank you. All introversion needs are "skills" and "habits" → As long as you master the "method" of chatting, anyone can become a master of chatting 12. You don't have to force yourself to be a cheerful person, just master the method and get used to "chatting" 3. 13. Change your tone and resonate with the other party Even if you just say "I understand", "Indeed" and "Yeah", you can still have a long conversation with someone. 14. Use "spoilers" to reassure the other person Telling the other person the ending of the story first can make both the other person and you feel at ease. 15. Name the characters or show photos If the topic fails to leave a deep impression on the other party, the other party will become bored with it. 16. Ask the other person what they are busy doing and what they are passionate about, and it will be easier to have a conversation with the other person. 17. Avoid "fineness" and ask about "habits" Rather than asking "how to be particular", directly asking "what are your habits" will make it easier for the other party to answer When people are asked for reasons, their mood will suddenly cool down → When they think about "why", their minds will calm down. Don't ask "why", ask "how" Asking "why" will make people defensive, asking "how" will make the other person open up. Whether it is something that should be handled with caution or a black and white topic, it is not suitable to be included in the chat and should be avoided as much as possible. When you encounter a word you don't understand, just "feel it" 18. When chatting, you should pay attention to the atmosphere and don't stick to the details. 19. "Praise" is the highest form of reaction As long as you can convey the meaning of "I appreciate what you said" to the other party, everything will be fine. Whether it's "so awesome" or "so cute", as long as it's a compliment to the other person, it's fine 20. Make the questions more specific and it will be easier for the talent to answer them. At the beginning of the chat, pay attention to the rhythm and ask questions that are easy for the other party to answer. 21. When you are praised → "Thank you + say one more sentence" can make the chat content fuller You can advance, you can attack, you can retreat, you can defend. "Thank you for the compliment" is the master key. 22. "Point out the fact + it's really good" is to praise the other person The ending of the story is the most important → the last sentence of the chat is the key point 23. "Rewind" and "replay" are actually OK → No one stipulates that chatting "can only move forward": "By the way, we just talked" "I wanted to ask from the beginning" 24. After a simple introduction, you can get more accurate information and effectively avoid embarrassment by asking the other person to introduce themselves. 25. When faced with people you want to get close to and questions you want answered, you can talk more about yourself. When faced with people who want to keep distance and difficult-to-answer questions, just use "normal situations" to get past them. If you want to keep a distance from the other person, use "generally speaking" to change the subject. 26. Picking a word from what the other party says and repeating it can make the other party feel that "this person is interested in what I say" and will be more willing to talk to us. People who are good at chatting can create an environment where it is easy for the other party to talk. 27. "Teacher teaches students" is the best mode for business chatting "Ask the other person for advice and learn from the other person" is the best mentality for business chatting Role-playing game - pretend the other person is the teacher and we are the students "I've been a little worried recently..." Start by briefly talking about your current situation, and then ask the other person about your worries →●●Does it mean ? Please tell me more! " As long as you say "I'm sorry, I don't understand this at all" and ask the other party for advice, you can not only give the other party psychological satisfaction, but also learn something. It can be said that you kill two birds with one stone. Even if we are worried about someone, we can easily chat with them as long as we treat them as teachers. 28. When chatting with others, it is more preferable to use your own unique perspective on problems to open up the topic rather than using your broad knowledge or expertise in a certain field as a breakthrough point. Use a unique perspective to connect all topics First write down the things that interest you on paper, and then think about the commonalities between them. This may be a good way to find your own unique perspective. As long as you have a unique perspective on the problem, you can have both breadth and depth of discussion. 29. Taking the initiative to talk to the leader → not ignoring the leader is the key What we talk about is not the point. The point is that we take the initiative to talk to the leader and actively start a chat → praise", "ask for advice" and "thank you" When you meet your boss in the elevator, just take the initiative to talk to him 30. Sitting in a taxi with the leader → the scenery outside the car window Just state what you see one by one: imagine yourself as a camera → video chat" Talking about the scenery on the roadside can not only enrich our topics, but also help us cleverly avoid questions involving privacy. "Being in the same room" with the boss in the taxi, the street view in front of us is our topic 31. I don't quite understand → I just let nature take its course and then change the subject. 32. Responding to everything in the chat is a typical waste of effort. It is worth mentioning that sometimes nodding silently is also a sign of being able to chat. 33. Specifically, we can ask: "Can I take a note? "Then take out your laptop or mobile phone. It really doesn't matter what you talk about, but conveying to the other party the attitude that "what you said is really interesting, so interesting that I want to write it down in notes" is the key. If you want to remember it, tell others immediately Among many methods, research shows that "listening first, then talking (teaching others)" can best help the brain to leave deep memories Interpreting it in your own language and writing it into an article is also a good way to help us consolidate our memory. Convey our enthusiasm by taking notes 34. If you want to have a good relationship with the other person, it is better to ask the other person for tea or lunch than drinking. The advantage of drinking tea and having lunch is that it is easier to estimate the time Smart people, choose to socialize at the tea table Tennis, golf, rock climbing, chess... Spend a few hours away from work and alcohol, just immerse yourself in a common hobby, and you will get closer to each other before you know it. In the new social era away from alcohol, only those who can chat will have the last laugh 35. At this time, you should immediately answer "Okay" and "I really want to go" Agree first, and if you really can't go, say, "Sorry, I just confirmed the arrangement and I already have an appointment at that time. "I've been very busy with work recently, and I really don't have time..." Just refuse. Show your positive attitude by saying "I want to go" first, and it doesn't matter if you say no later. 36. If the protagonist of the gossip is an acquaintance of ours, we cannot express our approval. The content of the chat is diverse, but "gossip about acquaintances" is a restricted area "Bad words" and "gossip" are forbidden areas for chatting, so it's better to stay away from them. Take notes to better understand the issues with subtitles The core of the sentence at the end seems empty when compared with the beginning.

There is a counter-intuitive core in "Everyone Who Can Chat Talks Like This" written by Gotashi Gohyoda: Chatting is not about transmitting information, but about building relationships. So there's no need to "say something interesting" or "make sense", the only goal is to keep the conversation going. The way to do this is simple - talk about emotions, not information. Avoid talking about news or facts, and focus on personal feelings such as "feels," "head-scratching," and "interesting." When responding, you don't have to work hard to pick up the words. Reacting with expressions, nodding, and laughter is enough. Never deny the other person, and don't rush to give advice. These two things ruin the atmosphere the most. And if you fall into silence, it means that the topic is too far away from you, just bring it back to you - talk about what you see in front of you and the little things you just experienced. There is a particularly healing passage in the book: You don't need to change your personality, introverts can still be good chat partners. As long as you can let go of the obsession of "having to speak well" and focus on "making the other party relax", communication will naturally flow much smoother.

Very good, it summarizes chatting skills in various scenarios and gives examples of specific usage. Of course, the most important thing is to understand and apply it. I believe I need to read this book a second time in the future and take notes.

This book taught me how to have the confidence to face situations on different occasions and give positive feedback to the people I was chatting with. The biggest feeling is to discover my own shortcomings and make up for them in time. Chatting is so important. It can bring us closer to each other. Maybe there is a temperament in the other person that is worth learning. That's great.

I feel that this book is really very practical and can be used in actual combat. I feel that the content and examples are very detailed and in place. It has indeed helped me a lot, and my chat has improved to a certain extent.

The whole book is basically a collection of chatting skills summarized by the author, all of which are practical. It is a very easy-to-understand and easy-to-learn type, and you can basically learn something after reading it. However, I personally feel that it is subjective, and human nature is still hard to figure out. Many times, people should not apply the techniques in the book. They need to consider multiple factors before deciding whether to use the techniques. And because the book is full of practical information, the examples listed only serve the skills and are relatively one-sided. But overall, it is still a very good book, and it will be helpful to social novices.

Very good. The essence of chatting is to establish a relationship connection. To establish a relationship, just keep talking! "Don't give suggestions to the other party" is the most profound point in the chat skills I learned. Reflecting on my mistakes, I always make mistakes in this regard and fail to take into account the other party's position and needs. The scenes in the book are very specific and worth practicing and improving! !

This book is quite good. It talks about some basic points in communication, as well as what taboos we should pay attention to in communication, and how to handle interpersonal relationships well so that we can have better interpersonal relationships and be able to do things with ease in various situations. It is precisely because of us. Being in society requires constant interpersonal relationships so that we can meet our own needs.

Nice and easy to understand and easy to do.

The method that is more suitable for the Japanese also has lessons for the Chinese. The overall content is good, and it teaches you how to chat step by step.

The whole article is very succinct, concisely and clearly summarizing some things to pay attention to in chatting and communicating, and attaches examples to illustrate. After reading it, I felt pretty good and it was helpful and enlightening.

Useful and natural, focused, real and practical

It is concise, clear and easy to understand. The book talks about many chatting skills, which are very practical. Thank you to the author for sharing!

Suddenly realized there was something wrong with my way of thinking Chatting is for building interpersonal relationships. The content of the chat is not important, just carry on. We don't need to force ourselves to be extroverts just to socialize...

It has changed some of my perceptions. The most profound thing I understand is that I used to think that I needed to have enough knowledge to be able to chat happily with others and get closer. It turns out that this is not the case. Talking about feelings is enough.

Summary: 1. Try to be a listener and do not gossip or speak ill of acquaintances 2Try not to veto others' words, but change the topic 3. Don't hide when you meet, say hello generously. 4. Praise others for their new changes and small details.

This book mainly talks about some chatting skills. I think it is like picking up shells on the beach. Apply what you learn and draw inferences from one example. This book is really worth reading. It has taught many readers how to chat from beginner to master.

Very useful book

So that I know how to chat with other people

Today's summary Chat skills 1. Just praise without hesitation, rather than precise complaints 2. At the beginning of the chat, ask closed-ended questions that are easier for people to answer, rather than asking open-ended questions that are difficult for people to answer. "Asking closed-ended questions will limit the other party's answer to 'yes or no', making it difficult for the conversation to diverge. If you want to expand the conversation, you must ask open-ended questions so that the other party cannot answer with 'yes or no'." 3. When you are praised, thank you for the compliment without being modest. 4. Praise formula: point out the discovered facts + words of praise (... So good, so beautiful...) 5. When you get stuck on a topic, you can go back to the topics you talked about more before. 6. If you want to keep a distance from the other person, use "generally speaking" to change the subject. 7. When meeting leaders and elders, chat with them like students treat their teachers. 8. When faced with a topic you don't want to hear, you can say: Let's change the topic.

I like this book very much. The chatting skills introduced in the book are very practical. For those who are afraid of saying the wrong thing and chatting to death, which makes people feel bored, it is really an entry-level treasure book. Thanks to the author for the careful arrangement. I hope this book can bring more people to solve the dilemma of speaking and communication.

Good! It's concise and clear, with comprehensive scenarios, and it's worth learning from! !

I suggest friends who don't know how to chat to read it. It's very helpful and helped me find a girlfriend.

Is the author Japanese? I saw something about Japanese food in the book

It's useful, but it feels like there are still too few examples and applications, which makes me feel like I've learned something but can't put it into use.

Thank you for the author's description. I feel it is already rare for someone like me who doesn't know how to chat. Thank you again [blowing kiss]

This book taught me to chat normally with others and corrected the wrong aspects when getting along with others. 2024.1.5 After reading it once, there will be a second time

Many scenes in the book are very relatable, such as the awkwardness when chatting with strangers, and the nervousness when communicating with leaders and customers. The communication skills provided by the author feel very practical, and they are all real cases, which are easy to understand and learn. I think this book is a bit like "Nonviolent Communication", which teaches people how to communicate with others better. I plan to apply the techniques in this book to interviews and hope to find a satisfying job!