Lemongrass Fragrance Lingers for Ten Years

[Two male protagonists + two strong men + chasing husbands + sweet pets] I had a crush on someone for ten years, and I let him stay with me as a friend for ten years. I fell in love with him at first sight when I was a freshman, and fell in love with him again when I was a sophomore. When I was a junior, I followed him to an animation company for an internship even though I was majoring in graphic design. He has been single since graduating from college, and I follow him wherever he goes. We rented together in a basement in City B, in a remote village. Later in the community, I always lived next door to him, the place closest to him. When I'm in a bad mood, he can ask for leave and accompany me home to play games with just one sentence. On weekends, I could go to his house and stay all day. Sometimes I would lie on his bed and unbridledly ask for his scent. I thought we could continue to live like this until three years ago, when he met a girlfriend online. The girl's city was in the south, north of City B. I thought their long-distance relationship wouldn't last long despite being thousands of miles apart, but I didn't expect that she followed him half a year ago. I thought I could continue to stay with him as a friend, so that at least I could see him every day, but that day I went home early and saw them kissing together, and I knew I could never be with him as a friend again. Because I dreamed of thousands of things that her girlfriend could easily get, and even more things that I dare not even think about. I envy, I am jealous, I hate, but I don't know what to hate.