I’m Just Livestreaming Myself Farming, Why Are You Panicking, America?

Lin Bei takes over the family business, Qiqiang Agriculture, but poor management has brought it to the brink of bankruptcy. So he launches a new venture: livestreaming his farming and selling his produce.

“First, let me show you how to harvest a cornfield with lasers.” Rows of lasers sweep across the field, leaving Eagle Sauce dumbfounded.

?????

“What the hell, is that a super laser weapon? It could slice through our aircraft carriers and shoot down our nuclear warheads without a problem!”

“Call a joint summit! Restrict it, we have to restrict it!”

But in less than a day, before the joint bill could take effect, Lin Bei had already helped his country develop a super laser weapon!

From then on, there was no need to fear the United States throwing its weight around…

Electromagnetic pest killers, neutron freshness preservers, kinetic-energy apples, agricultural mechs, climate bombs, satellite-based kinetic-energy well drillers, a complete line of air-and-space carriers for spraying crops… Every kind of black technology you could imagine!

Eagle Sauce is truly panicking: “Isn’t an electromagnetic pest killer just a super bioweapon?”

“A neutron freshness preserver? It can suppress nuclear fusion!”

“Agricultural mechs? Bah! Those are Dragon Nation’s Iron Men!”

…

“Satellite-based kinetic weapons! Air-and-space carriers! Holy crap… I surrender, isn’t that enough?!”

“Please, Lin Bei! Stop livestreaming, you’re scaring me!”

Lin Bei: “Relax, Eagle Sauce. I’m really just livestreaming myself farming…”