The Legitimate Daughter of the Xue Family Takes the Throne

I am Xue Baochai, first among the twelve beauties of Jinling in the principal register. People say that Lin Daiyu is pure and innocent, while I am mature, worldly, and adept at dealing with everyone. They think I handle things smoothly for my own benefit. But who in this world lives without a purpose? Using my intelligence to live with greater ease is a skill in its own right. People favor Daiyu because she reminds them of their younger selves, before life wore down their edges, when they still lived in an innocent world. You don’t love Baochai because you don’t want to see in her the self who has compromised with the world and lost a clear sense of who she is.

Everyone calls me a “two-faced gold digger,” saying I stole Lin Daiyu’s ideal match, Baoyu, the Jia family’s young master. The truth is, if I had a choice, I wouldn’t give a man like him, a “pampered idler,” a second glance. This so-called “gold and jade match” was nothing but the elders’ wishful thinking. If anyone in Dream of the Red Chamber is my destined match, it is surely Lin Daiyu, sent down from heaven. Literary scholars have long said, “If you seek a perfect match in Dream of the Red Chamber, then Hengwu is surely suited to Xiangfei.”

If I hadn’t failed to be chosen as an imperial consort, I’m confident I could have become a second Empress Wu. Whether you like it or not, this is who I am. I have my own philosophy for survival. I adapt to circumstances and deal smoothly with all kinds of people, leaving no gaps in anything I say or do. That is my emotional intelligence and my ability.

Call me worldly and calculating, or say I’m warm on the outside and cold at heart. That only means you don’t understand me. Don’t look down on me. Live in this world long enough, and in the end, you will become just like me. I’m writing this autobiography today both to set the record straight and to make it easier for those who come after me to judge.