Pokemon: I Stole Tang San's Clear Sky Hammer from the Start

Roar! That flightless Groudon can take my peerless, mighty Haotian Hammer! Squeak! The sea ahead is off-limits. You don’t want to end up as sashimi, do you, Kyogre? What, Arceus is the Creator God? Keep running your mouth and I’ll roast you whole like a lamb. I am the mighty general of the Nine Netherworlds, bearing the Five Spirit Orbs, with the Haotian Hammer in my left hand and the Xuanyuan Sword in my right. I will one day trample the stars of the heavens beneath my feet. [A lighthearted, funny slice-of-life story featuring Pokemon unique to the Donghuang region. If that’s not your thing, please don’t read.]