Genshin Impact: I'm a Cultivation Guidance Analyst

A thunderous crash sounds from the sky as Li Ran makes his dazzling entrance. As a cultivation strategy analyst, he was supposed to make a name for himself and rise straight to the top. But before he could accomplish anything, he received a top-secret order from the state: help stop the world of Genshin Impact from descending upon theirs.

Stop the world of Genshin Impact from descending?

Raiden Shogun draws a blade from her chest, ready to cut this man down with the Musou no Hitotachi.

The Anemo Archon, Barbatos, is dead drunk, and the wind swirling around him grows ever more fierce.

Rex Lapis stands with his hands behind his back. “I would buy osmanthus wine and share it with you, but my old friend...”

Nahida’s verdant eyes gaze down upon the world. Her swing sways in the breeze as she sits on it, trailing her soft feet across the water and sending ripples across its surface.

“This thought shall be purged!” Raiden Shogun raises her blade against Li Ran.

“Would you like to play with me?” Barbatos strums his lyre.

“Would you like to sign a contract with me, bound by the passage of time?” Old Man Zhongli lifts his teacup and sips his cloud-fog tea.

“Within the fruits of life lie the wisdom and dreams of the sky and the sea.” Nahida swings as she speaks of her dream.

Looking at the gods, Li Ran wants to kiss Raiden Shogun on the cheek, but he doesn’t quite dare.

He wants to beat up the drunken Barbatos. Well, he’s not sure he could win.

As for Old Man Zhongli, he gets down on his knees and begs, “Please spare this humble one.”

Then Nahida arrives. The dignity of the Dendro Archon cannot be defiled, so she hangs Li Ran up and beats him eighteen times, yes, eighteen times.

“Please, have mercy on me!” Li Ran drops to his knees and weeps, drool pooling on the ground.