The Coffin Opener at Midnight

I am a coffin opener who works at midnight. When strange incidents occur during a grave relocation, blood seeps from the burial soil, a coffin proves impossibly heavy, or rats and snakes coil around it, a coffin opener must be called to open it. Over the years, I have opened more than eight hundred coffins: mother-and-child coffins, yin coffins, longevity coffins, water coffins, insect coffins, charred coffins, inverted coffins, and all sorts of others. At least nine times, I nearly lost my life.