Why Does Your System Only Give Me E-Rank Powers?

In his eighteenth year since transmigrating, Ye Yan's System finally connected to the server. He thought he was about to embark on a path to invincibility, but then discovered that the superpowers the System gave him were nothing like what he'd imagined...

High and Mighty: Want to get stronger? Then you can't date?

You're Sick: I'll give you the runs!

Big Slap: Let me show you what a guaranteed-hit slap feels like!

What Are You Barking About: Woof woof! Woof?

Interviewer: "If you had to choose one of these two people as your opponent, who would you pick? A: Ye Yan, B: ..."

Victim, the villain: "BBBBBB...!"

Ye Yan: "It's perfectly reasonable for an E-rank superpower to be just a tiny bit unusual, right?" (shrugs)