I Refuse to Become an Official in the Tang Dynasty

Shi Tian: “Your Majesty, Tuyuhun has gold mines, and lots of them!”

Li Er: “Tuyuhun keeps invading Liangzhou. Order Li Jing to lead an army and wipe them out.”

Shi Tian: “Your Majesty, Gaochang has blocked our route and robbed us. They're even breaking off relations with the Tang and pledging allegiance to the Western Turks!”

Li Er: “Gaochang has insulted the Tang. Who will go and take it?”

Li Chengqian: “I've already taken it. Send someone to collect it, and don't delay my journey west to attack Qiuci!”

Shi Tian: “Your Majesty, Japan has mines. Silver is piled up like mountains, and gold is everywhere. Doesn't that tempt you?”

Li Er: “When spring comes next year, you will accompany me on a personal campaign so we can find out whether the bioweapons you speak of are really that powerful!”

Shi Tian: “Those bioweapons were designed specifically for Japan. They don't work anywhere else, but they're most effective there!”

Li Er: “...”

Li Er: “Master Xuanzang went to the Western Heaven to seek Buddhist scriptures seventeen years ago. He has now reached the Anxi Protectorate!”

Shi Tian: “You'd better be careful. That guy is no good. He secretly slipped out of the country back then, and they say he's on very familiar terms with King Harsha. Our army is about to reach the borders of Tianzhu, and he's coming back at a time like this. Your Majesty, you need to watch out for him!”

Li Er: “...”