Many parents often say: "How can I understand my child?" But the fact is that almost all parents have never truly felt their children's hearts and seen their children's deep desires.
Child behavioral psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld has discovered through more than 40 years of research that parents see behavioral problems such as rebellion, aggression, and bullying in their children, but they do not see the inner longing and disorientation hidden behind the behavior.
If the inner wishes are hidden, ignored, and cannot be accurately responded to, the children will be lost and alienated from their parents, which makes it even more difficult for parents to see their children.
In such a vicious cycle, the sense of lack that continues to accumulate in the child's heart eventually turns into a family of origin problem that affects adulthood.
Therefore, the author proposes that parents need to really see their children and establish a good attachment relationship with them.
In an environment of positive response and active seeing, children can be completely satisfied internally, and then they can form a sound self in adulthood and have the ability to obtain happiness.
Reader comments
This book touched me very much. It made me understand that children's behavioral problems often hide their inner desires. We need to truly see our children and establish a good attachment relationship with them. Just like Wu Zhihong in the book, he has a deep understanding of human nature, but still remains humble. This book is not only helpful for parents, but also enlightening for each of us to understand ourselves and others. I like the discussion in the book about children's inner needs. It makes me better understand how to establish a deep emotional connection with my lover.
This is not only a parenting book, but also a healing book for childhood.
After reading this book, I deliberately read it several times just to find the review. I recommend everyone to read it and maybe repair their childhood.
The most talked about in the book is the attachment relationship. It seems that my childhood was a state of peer attachment or severe lack of attachment.
In my impression, my parents were more about letting me live without paying much psychological attention. Although I have always been a good girl, they also caused me to report good things but not bad things when I grew up, and I was anxious about classmates for a long time.
Now my attachment relationship is with my lover. This sense of security and satisfaction makes people very at ease, and also provides me with the possibility of exploring new things.
You can watch it whether you have children or not. The part that I benefit from is: understanding why children have rebellious periods and why some children don't have them. It allows me to understand from the underlying logic that children are attached to their parents, so that I can easily deal with the parent-child relationship.
It's a part that anyone can watch over and over as a parent or prospective parent!
It opens up a new perspective to look at the problem, but this book alone is not enough. Generally speaking, it is still in the middle of attachment psychology. You can read through the books in this genre.
If parents want to truly see their children, if a tree wants to grow into a towering tree, it must first take root. If a child wants to be independent, it must first be dependent. The parent-child relationship is greater than anything else. To see children, you must see the essence through phenomena.
Very nice and worth buying
This book explains many points of view that I have not considered before. Looking back at my own process of raising children, I have indeed hit the right key points, which are worth promoting and thinking about.
The content is good, just what I lacked
The translation is very good, and it is very enlightening to listen to it.
Children can be seen from multiple dimensions and angles, but most of them are examples from abroad.
This book touched me very much. It made me understand that children's behavioral problems often hide their inner desires. We need to truly see our children and establish a good attachment relationship with them. Just like Wu Zhihong in the book, he has a deep understanding of human nature, but still remains humble. This book is not only helpful for parents, but also enlightening for each of us to understand ourselves and others. I like the discussion in the book about children's inner needs. It makes me better understand how to establish a deep emotional connection with my lover.
This is not only a parenting book, but also a healing book for childhood. After reading this book, I deliberately read it several times just to find the review. I recommend everyone to read it and maybe repair their childhood. The most talked about in the book is the attachment relationship. It seems that my childhood was a state of peer attachment or severe lack of attachment. In my impression, my parents were more about letting me live without paying much psychological attention. Although I have always been a good girl, they also caused me to report good things but not bad things when I grew up, and I was anxious about classmates for a long time. Now my attachment relationship is with my lover. This sense of security and satisfaction makes people very at ease, and also provides me with the possibility of exploring new things.
You can watch it whether you have children or not. The part that I benefit from is: understanding why children have rebellious periods and why some children don't have them. It allows me to understand from the underlying logic that children are attached to their parents, so that I can easily deal with the parent-child relationship. It's a part that anyone can watch over and over as a parent or prospective parent!
It opens up a new perspective to look at the problem, but this book alone is not enough. Generally speaking, it is still in the middle of attachment psychology. You can read through the books in this genre.
If parents want to truly see their children, if a tree wants to grow into a towering tree, it must first take root. If a child wants to be independent, it must first be dependent. The parent-child relationship is greater than anything else. To see children, you must see the essence through phenomena.
Very nice and worth buying
This book explains many points of view that I have not considered before. Looking back at my own process of raising children, I have indeed hit the right key points, which are worth promoting and thinking about.
The content is good, just what I lacked
The translation is very good, and it is very enlightening to listen to it.
Children can be seen from multiple dimensions and angles, but most of them are examples from abroad.
A very well written book, worth owning